The Stages of Grief
If you need help seeing Jesus in the middle of your struggle, or just feel like you are stuck, ready to move into growth and healing, connect with a Christian coach.
Excerpt: The Stages of Grief - Loss of a Loved One Session 3
Course: Loss Of A Loved One
Speakers: Benji Horning, Jen Horning
Navigating the Five Stages of Grief: Your Journey is Unique
We're now going to discuss the well-known five stages of grief. As we walk through these, it's crucial to remember that everyone's experience and how these stages manifest are incredibly personal. For me, trying to fit the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling into neat boxes was impossible. It felt more like all five stages were churning within me simultaneously, like clothes in a washing machine.
A Non-Linear Experience
It wasn't a linear progression of moving through one stage before entering the next. Instead, all these different feelings were happening at once, making it incredibly difficult to pinpoint exactly which stage I was in at any given moment.
So, as we share these stages, and as certain aspects might resonate with you, please hold this information lightly. It's entirely possible to experience a multitude of these feelings within the same hour, and that is perfectly valid.
Varied Orders and Concurrent Feelings
The order in which these stages appear can also vary significantly from person to person. You might experience several concurrently. However, we want to outline these as the five most common experiences you'll likely encounter at some level. They may appear in this order, or they may not.
The Five Common Stages of Grief:
Denial: This often presents as a feeling of disbelief – "This can't be real. There's no way." It's a way our minds initially grapple with an overwhelming reality.
Bargaining: Following denial, there's often a stage of trying to regain control or make sense of the loss by bargaining. This might involve wishing to have them back, trying to rationalize what happened ("If only I had done this differently"), or attempting to rewrite the story in our minds.
Depression: As the reality of the loss begins to settle, a deep sadness and sense of loss can emerge. This is the weight of "Oh my goodness, I can't believe the level of loss we have experienced."
Anger: Anger is another common stage, and it's important to acknowledge that it's okay, even within a Christian framework. Scripture shows examples of anger, even Jesus expressing it. Because death was not part of God's original design, there's a sense that anger in the face of loss is a natural response. Even if that anger is directed at God, remember that His shoulders are broad enough to receive it, as we see reflected throughout the Psalms.
Acceptance: This final stage, which can take months or even years, is about learning to live and lean into a reality where that relationship exists in a different way. It's not about everything being "okay" or wishing the loss hadn't happened, but rather a gradual acceptance of the new reality – "Okay, I am still breathing, and I am still here." It's in this stage that you might begin to look for glimmers of redemption that God might be starting to sow.
God's Constant Presence: Walking Through It With You
Regardless of which stage you find yourself in at any given moment, please remember that God is present with you. He promises to never leave you nor forsake you. He is in the midst of your pain, walking through it alongside you. Even if He feels distant right now, know that He is incredibly close. Welcoming Him into your grief, being honest with Him about where you are emotionally, is essential for navigating this journey.
If you like the content, you can continue in a few different ways…
1) See the outline below and check out other sections from the FFP course.
2) Take the full small group course to your church community! The first course your church runs is free! Reach out to us here to learn how.
3) Connect with a Share The Struggle Coach for one-on-one support. Let’s face it, some of us have tried kicking this thing, and we’ve had no luck. It’s time to start looking toward forms of support that can help us see and feel the beautiful life God has in store for us.
Loss Of A Loved One
〰️
Loss Of A Loved One 〰️
Session 1
Session 2
Session 3
Session 4
Session 5
Session 6
Share The Struggle Courses
Share the Struggle Courses are topical expert led video courses to help you understand life’s greatest struggles and provide you with tools for navigating them. Moreover, STS courses create a space for you to connect with others struggling with similar things, experience belonging, and encounter God’s nearness in a place of wilderness in your life (pain, confusion, healing journey). Want to start a group at your church? Reach out to us here to learn how.
What Share The Struggle Believes
Here at Share The Struggle we believe Jesus is present with us in the middle of our pain and mess, and it is in that place that we often experience and encounter Jesus most deeply.
We understand the unique challenges faced by Christians dealing with mental health. Our mission is to bridge the gap between faith and mental health support, providing a platform where individuals can find resources, coaching support and guidance, all tailored to their spiritual life and emotional needs.
We invite you to explore our resources, share your journey, and find the support you need to overcome the struggles you face.
