The Feelings, Thoughts, and Emotions
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Excerpt: The Feelings, Thoughts, and Emotionsme - Loss of a Loved One Session 2
Course: Loss Of A Loved One
Speakers: Benji Horning, Jen Horning
The Foreign Landscape of Grief: Navigating Uncharted Territory
One of the first and most unsettling emotions of grief is its sheer foreignness. It feels fundamentally wrong, like an experience we were never meant to endure, a reality that clashes with our deepest sense of how things should be. There's an almost surreal quality to it, a persistent feeling that "this isn't normal," "this doesn't feel right."
Interestingly, there's a theological underpinning to this feeling of foreignness. As Genesis reveals, God created humanity and the world in beauty, designed for eternity. It was the introduction of sin in Genesis chapter three that ultimately brought death into the picture. Consequently, every time we encounter loss and grapple with grief, there's an inherent sense of something unnatural because, as Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us, God has placed eternity in our hearts.
The Onslaught of Fear: Losing Control in the Wake of Loss
Another powerful emotion that often accompanies grief is fear. C.S. Lewis, in his poignant reflection on loss, Grief Observed, articulated this profoundly, noting how much grief felt akin to fear. This connection is insightful. When we lose someone dear, we also experience a significant loss of control. Our bodies and minds, in their innate drive to regain a sense of safety and stability, often manifest this struggle as fear.
The Unpredictable Waves: Grief's Ebbing and Flow
A defining characteristic of grief is its wave-like nature. There's an inherent unpredictability to it. Grief can surge unexpectedly, catching you off guard in moments you least anticipate. Conversely, times you might expect to feel profound sadness can sometimes be surprisingly devoid of tears. Furthermore, just when you feel you might be emerging from the depths, another wave can crash over you. This ebb and flow of grief is something we often have little control over, much like being tossed about in the ocean.
The Crushing Weight: Feeling Overwhelmed by Sorrow
Grief can also feel incredibly daunting, an immense weight that seems almost unbearable, heavier than our very being can withstand. It can feel like navigating through a dense fog, where clarity is elusive and the path forward is uncertain.
Personally, during my deepest fog of grief, I felt a strong sense from God not to make any significant decisions. I recognized that my judgment was clouded, my discernment compromised. Instead, I learned to rely on faith in each small step forward, trusting even when my vision was obscured. It required a slow and steady pace, a simple obedience to the Lord, and small acts of worship and faith to guide me through. My entire understanding of the world was shifting, and clear vision was simply not possible.
Glimmers of Hope: Finding Shoreline in the Storm
Finally, when you're grieving, it can feel like being out at sea, battered by relentless waves. From a distance, you might glimpse the shoreline – a place where others are resting, enjoying life, where the sun still shines. Yet, you are forced to live by faith, knowing that this reality still exists even as you are tossed about in the turbulent waters of grief.
There will be moments, whether weeks, months, or even longer apart, when you catch a breath, a brief moment of levity where you recognize, "Oh yeah, there still is sunshine. There still is a shore." These fleeting moments can provide just enough strength to navigate the next stretch. Over time, these respites may become more frequent and longer-lasting. It's about clinging to the faith that there is a sure hope, and there will be a time when you reach that shore. In the meantime, cherish each breath, let it fuel you to run the next lap of your grief journey.
I vividly remember the first time Jen shared that she had caught a brief breath, a fleeting moment of respite amidst the pain. Though quick, it was enough to carry her through to the next wave. As someone walking alongside a grieving loved one, that image was incredibly helpful in understanding the unpredictable nature of grief and the power of those small moments of relief.
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Loss Of A Loved One
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Loss Of A Loved One 〰️
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