Finding Healthy Ways to Grieve
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Excerpt: Finding Healthy Ways to Grieve - Loss of a Loved One Session 3
Course: Loss Of A Loved One
Speakers: Benji Horning, Jen Horning
Moving Forward in Grief: Healthy Grieving vs. Unhealthy Coping
We've explored the emotional and neurological shifts that occur within us during grief. Now, let's discuss the crucial aspect of how we navigate this journey forward. There's a significant distinction between healthy grieving and unhealthy coping mechanisms, and understanding this difference is vital for your well-being.
Recognizing the Crossroads: Health vs. Unhealth
For me, Benji, the initial instinct was clear, albeit alarming. Thoughts like, "Maybe I should just drink my way through this," or "Perhaps drugs would offer an escape," surfaced. It was a desperate yearning to avoid the pain altogether. I even remember logically considering alcoholism as a way to not have to deal with the immense grief. Thankfully, I recognized this as a dangerous path – an unhealthy way to cope.
Instead, I found myself running, and I ran intensely. The physical exertion seemed to match the emotional pain I was experiencing. It was a way to physically manifest the turmoil within. That year, I ran a marathon – something I'm certain only grief could have driven me to do. And true to form, the moment I crossed that finish line, I felt, "Okay, we're good. I don't need to run ever again!" But it served as a healthy outlet, a way to grieve without harming my body or soul.
Identifying Your Urges: Finding Healthy Alternatives
As you navigate your grief, you might experience strong urges or desires. The key is to identify these and then explore healthy ways to address them. Jen wisely points out, "If you're grieving and you have this intense desire for something, identify it and ask, 'What's the healthy version of that?'"
If the urge is to numb pain, Instead of substances, consider calming activities like taking a warm bath, listening to soothing music, or practicing mindfulness.
If the urge is to escape, instead of isolating, perhaps a quiet walk in nature, a visit to a peaceful place like the beach, or practicing silence and solitude could be beneficial. Maybe a short, restful getaway with a trusted friend could offer a healthy change of scenery.
If the urge is to feel something intense, Benji's running is an example. Perhaps intense exercise, creating art, or engaging in a physically demanding hobby could provide a healthy release.
Often, for every urge you experience, there are both constructive and destructive ways to engage with it. The goal is to consciously choose the beneficial path.
Nurturing Your Body: Physical Well-being in Grief
Taking care of your physical body is also a crucial aspect of healthy grieving. Simple acts of self-care can significantly impact your ability to navigate this challenging time:
Prioritize sleep: While difficult, aim for restful sleep whenever possible.
Rest: Allow your body to recover and conserve energy.
Hydrate: Drink plenty of water to support physical functions.
Exercise gently: Engage in physical activity that feels right for your body.
Eat nutritious food: Fuel your body with healthy meals.
These seemingly small actions can create a more stable foundation as you journey through grief.
Mapping Your Urges: A Path Towards Healthy Choices
We encourage you to take some time for self-reflection. In a journal, write down the urges and desires you are experiencing, without judgment. Be honest and raw. Then, create a "map" of healthy decisions you can make that speak to those urges, that address those cravings in positive ways.
If you find this challenging, don't hesitate to involve a trusted loved one in this conversation. Be open about your desires, even the difficult ones, and brainstorm healthy alternatives together. For instance, if you have a strong urge to isolate, perhaps a compromise is a few hours of quiet solitude followed by connecting with a supportive friend.
By consciously identifying our urges and actively seeking healthy ways to address them, we can navigate the difficult terrain of grief in a way that honors both our pain and our well-being.
If you like the content, you can continue in a few different ways…
1) See the outline below and check out other sections from the FFP course.
2) Take the full small group course to your church community! The first course your church runs is free! Reach out to us here to learn how.
3) Connect with a Share The Struggle Coach for one-on-one support. Let’s face it, some of us have tried kicking this thing, and we’ve had no luck. It’s time to start looking toward forms of support that can help us see and feel the beautiful life God has in store for us.
Loss Of A Loved One
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Loss Of A Loved One 〰️
Session 1
Session 2
Session 3
Session 4
Session 5
Session 6
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