Relationship with Self
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Excerpt: Relationship with Self - Loss of a Loved One Session 5
Course: Loss Of A Loved One
Speakers: Benji Horning, Jen Horning
The Relationship Within: Attending to Your Needs in Grief
As we continue our journey through grief, the next vital relationship to explore is the one we have with ourselves. This encompasses self-awareness, being attuned to the landscape of our minds and bodies, and learning to process our internal experiences with care.
Honoring Your Uniqueness: Individual Needs in Grief
Understanding our individual wiring is paramount in grief. What you need in this season will likely differ from the needs of your mother, your sibling, or even your closest friends. There's no one-size-fits-all approach. The journey begins with granting yourself permission to truly identify and honor your unique needs.
If you lean towards introversion, you may require more solitary time to process and recharge. If you're an extrovert, the presence of close, supportive friends might be essential in navigating difficult moments. The key is to heighten your awareness of your internal cues and respond with compassion.
Practical Tools for Self-Awareness and Healing
Several practical tools can aid in this process of self-awareness and inner healing:
Journaling: Studies have shown that journaling can have a positive neurological impact, aiding in the brain's healing process. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide clarity and a sense of release.
Walking and Cardio: Engaging in walks or longer cardio exercises (without the pressure of marathon running!) releases beneficial chemicals like endorphins in the brain, which can contribute to emotional well-being.
The Quarter Tank Principle: Managing Your Capacity
One of the most insightful pieces of advice I received during my grief, from Blair Fabry, was the concept of operating at a "quarter tank" capacity. In a season of grief, your energy reserves are significantly diminished, and you will likely reach empty much faster than before.
This means that even if you diligently engage in activities that typically refresh you, you might still only feel like you're functioning at a fraction of your usual capacity. Therefore, it becomes crucial to be incredibly disciplined about prioritizing those refreshing activities, even if they don't seem to have the same impact as they once did. Living at this limited capacity for a period is a necessary act of self-care.
Identifying Fillers and Drainers: Conscious Energy Management
It's helpful to create a list of activities that both fill and drain your energy. During grief, be particularly cautious of energy-draining activities and intentionally prioritize those that offer even a sliver of replenishment.
Furthermore, consider incorporating activities that connect you to the memory of your loved one. This might involve visiting a place they cherished, creating a memorial (through art, writing, etc.), or engaging in a hobby they enjoyed. Using your limited energy in ways that honor their memory can provide a sense of purpose and connection.
Finding Redemption: Creating Beauty from Pain
Finally, if possible, consider engaging in activities that bring a sense of redemption, where you feel like you are creating something beautiful or meaningful out of the pain of your loss. This can be a powerful way to honor your loved one and nurture your own healing process.
By being attentive to our unique needs, utilizing practical tools for self-awareness, managing our limited capacity with care, and finding meaningful connections, we can navigate the relationship within ourselves with greater understanding and compassion during grief.
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Loss Of A Loved One
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Loss Of A Loved One 〰️
Session 1
Session 2
Session 3
Session 4
Session 5
Session 6
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