Permissions
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Excerpt: Permissions - Loss of a Loved One Session 1
Course: Loss Of A Loved One
Speakers: Benji Horning, Jen Horning
Permission to Grieve: Honoring the Full Spectrum of Your Loss
In the midst of profound loss, there are no rulebooks, no timelines etched in stone. We, Benji and Jen, want to offer you something incredibly important: permission. Permission to grieve in the way that is uniquely yours, without judgment or expectation.
Permission to Grieve Uniquely
You have permission to grieve differently than you might have imagined, differently than your spouse, your family, or your friends. Your grief is your own intricate tapestry of emotions and experiences.
Permission for the Spectrum of Emotions
Permission to be angry at God: Grief can stir up profound questions and even anger towards the divine. Acknowledge and process these feelings without guilt.
Permission to take as long as it needs: Healing is not linear. There is no set timeframe for grief. Allow yourself the space and time you truly need.
Permission to be both happy and sad: Joy and sorrow can coexist, even within the same day. Experiencing moments of happiness does not diminish your grief.
Permission to feel a part of you has died: The loss of a loved one can leave a void so deep it feels like a part of yourself is gone. Acknowledge this profound feeling.
Permission to lash out: Grief can manifest as irritability and anger. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, while also seeking healthy ways to express them.
Permission to ask why: The search for meaning and understanding after a loss is natural. It's okay to question and to seek answers.
Permission to feel relief: In complex relationships, grief can sometimes be accompanied by a sense of relief. This is a valid emotion and does not negate your love.
Permission to cry uncontrollably: Tears are a natural expression of grief. Allow yourself to weep freely and for as long as you need.
Permission to have no tears at all: Shock and numbness can sometimes prevent tears. The absence of tears does not mean a lack of grief.
Permission to process blaming yourself: It's common to replay events and wonder "what if." Allow yourself to process these feelings of self-blame, while also striving for self-compassion.
Permission to re-engage with life: You have permission to get out of bed, return to work, and even enjoy the parts of your life that still bring you joy. This is not a betrayal of your loved one's memory.
Permission to take longer than expected: If getting back to your routine feels impossible, and your grief journey is taking longer than you or others anticipated, that is okay.
Permission to live life differently: Grief can reshape your perspective. You have permission to live your life in a new way, perhaps even more fully alive as a way to honor those you've lost.
Permission to laugh with safe people: Finding moments of laughter with trusted individuals is not a sign that you are "over" your grief. Joy can exist alongside sorrow.
Permission to have less capacity: Your ability to handle tasks and responsibilities may be diminished. Allow yourself to function at a lower capacity for a while without explanation.
Permission to have healthy distractions: In moments of intense pain, healthy distractions can provide a necessary respite and prevent spiraling into deeper despair.
Permission to change: Grief can profoundly alter you. You are not expected to remain the person you were before your loss. Allow yourself to be transformed by this experience.
Ultimately, we want to give you permission to be fully present with your grief, to experience whatever arises, and to honor your individual journey toward healing.
If you like the content, you can continue in a few different ways…
1) See the outline below and check out other sections from the FFP course.
2) Take the full small group course to your church community! The first course your church runs is free! Reach out to us here to learn how.
3) Connect with a Share The Struggle Coach for one-on-one support. Let’s face it, some of us have tried kicking this thing, and we’ve had no luck. It’s time to start looking toward forms of support that can help us see and feel the beautiful life God has in store for us.
Loss Of A Loved One
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Loss Of A Loved One 〰️
Session 1
Session 2
Session 3
Session 4
Session 5
Session 6
Share The Struggle Courses
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