How To Share With Your Partner

Course Cut-OutFreedom From Pornogrpahy
Written By Austin Cavaliere

If you need help seeing Jesus in the middle of your struggle, or just feel like you are stuck, ready to move into growth and healing, connect with a Christian coach.

Excerpt: How To Share With Your Partner

Course: Freedom From Pornography

Speakers: Matthias Barker

Navigating the Revelation

After you share your dream for the relationship and take responsibility for your actions, your spouse will likely have questions. Answer them honestly. They may express a range of emotions, from sympathy to anger, frustration, and accusation.

Anticipating Reactions

They might say things like, 'This means you don't love me,' or 'I don't even know who you are.' Many fear this reaction. If it happens, listen. Don't argue. Take responsibility for what's true. Instead of defensiveness, repeat phrases like, 'I'm so sorry,' 'I know this is hard,' and 'I want to talk about this.' Suggest couples counseling or pastoral guidance.

The Importance of Calm

Defensiveness and argumentation will only widen the divide. Aim for an apologetic listening posture. Recognize that anger and betrayal are understandable, especially with long-term, hidden addiction. Your priority should be seeking professional guidance to navigate this complex situation.

Building Repair

Progress and repair are only possible in a calm environment. Avoid trying to justify yourself or control the narrative. Seek couples therapy or mentorship to facilitate productive communication.

Practical Steps

Share your dream for the relationship and take responsibility. Prepare for emotional reactions. Listen without arguing. Suggest couples counseling or pastoral guidance. If the conversation becomes intense, propose pausing and reconvening with an advisor. Avoid defensiveness and prioritize calm communication.

When to Pause

If the conversation becomes too intense, it’s okay to suggest pausing and reconvening with a counselor. Explain that you want to address their feelings and build repair, but you need guidance to do so wisely. Emphasize that you're not avoiding the conversation, but seeking a constructive approach.

Recurring Patterns

For recurring patterns of relapse and hurt, couples counseling is essential. It provides a structured environment for navigating complex emotions and building lasting repair.

Conclusion

Revealing a hidden addiction can trigger intense reactions. Prioritize honest communication, listen without defensiveness, and seek professional guidance to navigate the situation constructively. By prioritizing healing and repair through guided communication, you can rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship.

 

If you like the content, you can continue in a few different ways…

  • 1) See the outline below and check out other sections from the FFP course.

  • 2) Take the full small group course to your church community! The first course your church runs is free! Reach out to us here to learn how.

  • 3) Connect with a Share The Struggle Coach for one-on-one support. Let’s face it, some of us have tried kicking this thing, and we’ve had no luck. It’s time to start looking toward forms of support that can help us see and feel the beautiful life God has in store for us.

 

Freedom From Pornography

〰️

Freedom From Pornography 〰️

Part 1: Stories of Struggle

Session 1: What is the Struggle?

Session 2: The People

Part 2: The Roots of Dependency versus Design

Session 3: How Does This Dependency Begin?

Session 4: Biblical Roots

Part 3: Reconnecting and Reattaching

Session 5: Reconnecting With An Authentic God

Session 6: Working On Self

Session 7: Working With Others

Session 8: Healing With A Spouse

 

Share The Struggle Courses

Share the Struggle Courses are topical expert led video courses to help you understand life’s greatest struggles and provide you with tools for navigating them. Moreover, STS courses create a space for you to connect with others struggling with similar things, experience belonging, and encounter God’s nearness in a place of wilderness in your life (pain, confusion, healing journey). Want to start a group at your church? Reach out to us here to learn how.

 

What Share The Struggle Believes

Here at Share The Struggle we believe Jesus is present with us in the middle of our pain and mess, and it is in that place that we often experience and encounter Jesus most deeply.

We understand the unique challenges faced by Christians dealing with mental health. Our mission is to bridge the gap between faith and mental health support, providing a platform where individuals can find resources, coaching support and guidance, all tailored to their spiritual life and emotional needs.

We invite you to explore our resources, share your journey, and find the support you need to overcome the struggles you face.

Austin Cavaliere
Previous

Grounded in the Present
Next

Providing Helpful Accountability