Relationship with Others

Course Cut-OutMoving Through Trauma
Written By Austin Cavaliere

If you need help seeing Jesus in the middle of your struggle, or just feel like you are stuck, ready to move into growth and healing, connect with a Christian coach.

Excerpt: Relationship with Others - Trauma Session 8

Course: Moving Through Trauma

Speakers: Cathy Loerzel, Benji Horning, Matthias Barker

The Power of Connection: Healing Trauma in Community

We've explored the internal landscapes of healing – our relationship with God and with our own bodies. Now, let's turn outward to the crucial role of community in navigating the complexities of trauma. The journey of story work, of truly seeing and understanding our experiences, is often too risky to undertake alone. We need the reflections and support of others to illuminate the parts of our narrative that remain hidden or blurred.

The Risk and Reward of Sharing Our Truth

There are valid reasons why we might have fragmented our stories, skipped over painful details, or painted over sections that threaten our understanding of important relationships. Truly seeing the full picture might challenge long-held beliefs about loved ones or necessitate difficult shifts in existing relationships.

This is where the power of sharing our story with others comes in. Trusted individuals can often see our narrative more clearly than we can ourselves. They aren't burdened by the same fears or protective mechanisms, allowing them to read between the lines and notice what we might be avoiding.

Finding Your Safe Harbor: Cultivating Supportive Communities

As you engage in this work, it becomes essential to find safe communities – people with whom you can begin to speak your truth and lean into the healing process together. This requires discernment; not everyone is equipped to be a kind, attentive, and attuned listener. Sharing your story with someone who isn't safe can lead to retraumatization.

However, when you find those trustworthy individuals, the risk of vulnerability can be life-saving. A community of people who are genuinely for you, with you, and dedicated to your flourishing can offer a profound level of understanding and support that no individual can replicate.

Building these communities is possible, and you don't need to be an expert to contribute. Often, the most powerful act is simply being a good listener. Most people long to be heard, and offering that space for connection can bring immense freedom and honor to their stories.

Consider this: most conversations involve only one or two questions. What if you committed to asking a third, or even a fourth? Cultivate curiosity and humility in the presence of someone else's story. Gently look for the places they might be hesitant to see, driven by a desire for their well-being.

Community doesn't need to be extraordinary. It can be a cup of coffee, a gathering around a dining room table – the simple act of sharing our stories and being truly known by one another. If we all embraced this, it could transform our relationships, our families, our churches, and our wider communities. It often starts with just that extra question, that deeper level of engagement.

The Healing Power of Vulnerability in Community

Moving forward in the aftermath of trauma often involves navigating complex relationships. While trauma is deeply personal, the alternative of isolation can hinder healing. It's within the beautiful design of community that true healing begins to take root.

The biblical principle of confessing our sins to one another for healing (James 5:16) extends beyond our own transgressions. Sometimes, we need to confess the "sin" that was done to us, the brokenness of the world around us. Speaking these truths within a safe community can be a catalyst for healing.

Interestingly, vulnerability often breeds vulnerability. Those who have navigated severe trauma often possess a unique ability to create safe spaces for others because they understand the power of shared experience. You might even be the catalyst needed to cultivate healthier community simply by sharing your own story, within appropriate boundaries.

Practical steps for building supportive community include setting the stage for vulnerability by simply saying, "Hey, I want to share something, and I'd appreciate it if this could be a safe space." Be a good listener, ask open-ended questions and genuinely listen to understand, not to fix or advise unless asked. Get involved by volunteering at your church or in community groups to build organic connections. Seek mentorship by looking for older, wiser individuals who exhibit qualities you admire. Join a small group, as this provides a structured environment for building deeper relationships. Lean on your support network, don't hesitate to debrief with trusted friends about your therapy or healing journey.

Think of your support system as concentric circles. Your inner circle might include your therapist, spouse, and closest friends. Your directly supportive circle could be your small group or mentors. Further out are acquaintances and community members. Building trust within each of these circles is vital for sustained healing.

This journey of building relational infrastructure takes time and effort. It's not a quick fix. But the richness and support of these connections, alongside your individual work, will contribute to profound and lasting healing, layer by layer.

Seeking Professional Guidance: Therapy and Support Groups

When navigating trauma, professional support is often invaluable. Finding the right therapist can feel daunting, but there are steps you can take to increase your chances of a helpful connection.

Finding a Trauma-Informed Therapist involves researching trauma therapy styles. Familiarize yourself with different approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Psychoanalytic Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Lifespan Integration Therapy. Check online profiles. Resources like Psychology Today often list therapists and their specialties. Look for those mentioning trauma and specific modalities. Email potential therapists. Inquire about their experience with trauma therapy, their approach, and their training in specific modalities. Ask about workshops, supervision, and mentors. Consider an intake session. If possible, schedule initial consultations with two or three therapists to see if their approach and personality feel like a good fit. While this might seem time-consuming or costly, it can save you months of ineffective therapy. Explore online counseling. If access to local therapists specializing in trauma is limited, consider online options within your state or country.

The Power of Support Groups: Don't underestimate the value of support groups. Many free groups are hosted by charities and non-profits. Outpatient treatment centers often include a group therapy component. Clinical studies show high efficacy rates for trauma treatment in group settings. Sharing your experience and witnessing others' journeys can be incredibly powerful and validating. While it might feel vulnerable initially, the sense of not being alone can be transformative.

Ultimately, healing from trauma is a multifaceted journey that deeply involves our connection with others. By cultivating safe communities, seeking professional guidance when needed, and allowing ourselves to be seen and supported, we create the fertile ground for lasting healing and growth.

 

If you like the content, you can continue in a few different ways…

  • 1) See the outline below and check out other sections from the FFP course.

  • 2) Take the full small group course to your church community! The first course your church runs is free! Reach out to us here to learn how.

  • 3) Connect with a Share The Struggle Coach for one-on-one support. Let’s face it, some of us have tried kicking this thing, and we’ve had no luck. It’s time to start looking toward forms of support that can help us see and feel the beautiful life God has in store for us.

 

Moving Through Trauma

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Moving Through Trauma 〰️

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Session 8

 

Share The Struggle Courses

Share the Struggle Courses are topical expert led video courses to help you understand life’s greatest struggles and provide you with tools for navigating them. Moreover, STS courses create a space for you to connect with others struggling with similar things, experience belonging, and encounter God’s nearness in a place of wilderness in your life (pain, confusion, healing journey). Want to start a group at your church? Reach out to us here to learn how.

 

What Share The Struggle Believes

Here at Share The Struggle we believe Jesus is present with us in the middle of our pain and mess, and it is in that place that we often experience and encounter Jesus most deeply.

We understand the unique challenges faced by Christians dealing with mental health. Our mission is to bridge the gap between faith and mental health support, providing a platform where individuals can find resources, coaching support and guidance, all tailored to their spiritual life and emotional needs.

We invite you to explore our resources, share your journey, and find the support you need to overcome the struggles you face.

Austin Cavaliere
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