Our Three Primary Responses to Trauma

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Excerpt: Our Three Primary Responses to Trauma - Session 3

Course: Moving Through Trauma

Speakers: Cathy Loerzel


The Three Core Survival Responses to Trauma: Fragmentation, Dissociation, and Isolation

When we experience trauma, regardless of whether it's a significant, life-altering event ("Big T" trauma) or a series of smaller, yet impactful experiences ("little t" trauma), our minds and bodies often engage in three key survival responses: fragmentation, dissociation, and isolation. Understanding these responses is crucial for comprehending how past hurts continue to affect us and for navigating the path toward healing.

Fragmentation: Scattering the Pieces for Survival

Fragmentation is essentially the brain's ingenious way of protecting us when faced with something overwhelming. If the trauma is a puzzle that's too much to bear all at once, our brain instinctively scatters the pieces. This prevents us from having to confront the entire painful picture, which could overwhelm our system. Think of it as a built-in grace, a way our bodies help us navigate a world that inevitably brings heartache.

The Challenge of Fragmentation: While fragmentation is a survival mechanism, the scattered pieces need to be brought back together for true healing. Our bodies often hold the memory of what happened, but this memory isn't always connected to the parts of our brain that process language, meaning, and understanding. Healing, in essence, is the process of defragmentation and integration, where we piece together the full story of our trauma.

Navigating Fragmentation in Healing: As you explore your experiences, it's normal to only have fragments of memories. Be patient with yourself. As you create a sense of safety, whether with a therapist or through supportive resources, more pieces of the puzzle will likely emerge. Seeing the complete picture allows for a deeper understanding and facilitates the grieving process, enabling your mind to catch up with what your body already knows. This integration is the essence of healing.

Dissociation: Stepping Outside the Unbearable

Dissociation is another powerful way our minds and bodies cope with overwhelming experiences. When faced with unbearable feelings or circumstances, we might mentally or emotionally detach ourselves from what's happening.

Examples of Dissociation: Individuals who have experienced sexual abuse often describe creating rich fantasy worlds or becoming deeply engrossed in imaginative play as a way to escape the horrific reality of their physical environment. Even in adulthood, we might see dissociative tendencies in behaviors like excessive Netflix watching during times of stress or crisis – a way to temporarily escape the present moment.

Understanding Dissociation as a Coping Mechanism: Dissociation is a normal response to unbearable feelings. It's a survival strategy that helps us manage overwhelming situations. Often, our current dissociative tendencies can be traced back to what was required of us to cope with past childhood trauma.

Isolation: Protecting Ourselves from Unsafe Connections

Isolation is the third key response. When the relational connections available to us feel unsafe, our instinct is to withdraw, either physically or emotionally. We might bury our feelings and experiences deep down, creating a sense of distance as a form of protection. It's a defense mechanism, a survival technique that serves a purpose in the face of danger.

The Impact of Isolation in Adulthood: As adults, it's important to recognize how these patterns of fragmentation, dissociation, and isolation might still be influencing our lives and relationships. These coping mechanisms, developed in response to past harm, can continue to be mapped onto our present-day experiences.

Connecting Past and Present: Understanding how fragmentation, dissociation, and isolation were necessary for survival in our past can provide valuable insights into our current relational patterns and coping strategies. By gently exploring these connections, we can begin to understand how our early experiences of harm and trauma continue to shape how we relate to ourselves and others today. This awareness is a crucial step in the journey toward healing and creating safer, more fulfilling connections.

 

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Moving Through Trauma

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Moving Through Trauma 〰️

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Lowering Stress in the Nervous System

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How Trauma Functions in our Emotions, Brain, and Body