Relationship with Self

Course Cut-OutFreedom From Anxiety
Written By Austin Cavaliere

If you need help seeing Jesus in the middle of your struggle, or just feel like you are stuck, ready to move into growth and healing, connect with a Christian coach.

Excerpt: Relationship with Self - Anxiety Session 7

Course: Freedom From Anxiety

Speakers: Rebekah Lyons, Matthias Barker, Ben Zobrist, Curtis Zackery, Dr. Caroline Leaf

Cultivating a Healthy Self: Beyond Denial and Lies

We love God because He first loved us, enabling us to love ourselves. This means rejecting the lies that condemn us, the accusations that label us as broken or failures. Instead, we choose to believe we are loved, beloved, and redeemed, trusting God's truth over self-doubt. Loving ourselves means acknowledging our worthiness of love, understanding our values, and stewarding our past traumas without letting them dictate our present or future.

The Shadow Self: Bringing All Parts to the Table

A healthy relationship with oneself involves allowing all parts of us a seat at the table—not necessarily equal control, but equal consideration. The "shadow self" represents the aspects we often suppress due to shame. For example, aspirations like weight loss or being a good parent can create a counterpoint of shame when we fall short. Instead of self-harassment, we need to approach these parts with nurture, care, and wisdom.

Root Causes: Beyond Surface Behaviors

Harassing ourselves for failing to meet aspirations often leads to further division. We must delve deeper, asking why we lost our temper or gained weight. What external or internal factors contributed to these behaviors? This isn't about making excuses, but about understanding the root causes. By addressing these roots, we can create sustainable change.

Intentional, Substantial, Sustainable: Building a New Reality

Cultivating a healthy self requires intentionality, substantial engagement, and sustainable practices. We must create space for introspection, fully engage with the process, and establish rhythms that support ongoing self-care. This involves bringing all parts of ourselves to the table, listening to their perspectives, and creating personal plans for resilience.

The Neurocycle: Driving Mind and Brain Change

To facilitate this transformation, we can utilize a system like the Neurocycle, a five-step process designed to drive the mind and brain towards healthier patterns. This involves:

  1. Brain Preparation: Breathing, meditation, or prayer to calm the neurochemistry.

  2. Gathering Awareness: Systematically observing and describing the details of our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and perspectives.

  3. Reflection: Asking and answering questions to understand the "why" behind these signals.

  4. Writing (Metacog): Pouring our gathered and reflected thoughts onto paper to draw both sides of the brain together and access wisdom.

  5. Recheck and Act: Sorting out triggers and patterns, reconceptualizing our perspectives, and creating an action statement to anchor ourselves throughout the day.

This process is done daily for 15-45 minutes over three 21-day cycles. The first cycle focuses on deconstruction, the second on growth, and the third on establishing a new, dominant pattern.

Conclusion: Embracing Congruence and Hope

Our roles and circumstances do not define us. God wants to bring out our true selves, the person He created us to be. By cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves, we can find congruence, hope, and peace, regardless of our circumstances. We can move beyond denial and lies, embracing the truth of who we are and who God says we are, finding rest and satisfaction within our souls.

 

If you like the content, you can continue in a few different ways…

  • 1) See the outline below and check out other sections from the FFP course.

  • 2) Take the full small group course to your church community! The first course your church runs is free! Reach out to us here to learn how.

  • 3) Connect with a Share The Struggle Coach for one-on-one support. Let’s face it, some of us have tried kicking this thing, and we’ve had no luck. It’s time to start looking toward forms of support that can help us see and feel the beautiful life God has in store for us.

 

Freedom From Anxiety

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Freedom From Anxiety 〰️

Understanding the Roots of Anxiety

Session 1

Session 2

Session 3

Session 4

Session 5

Healing Through Relationships

Session 6

Session 7

Session 8

 

Share The Struggle Courses

Share the Struggle Courses are topical expert led video courses to help you understand life’s greatest struggles and provide you with tools for navigating them. Moreover, STS courses create a space for you to connect with others struggling with similar things, experience belonging, and encounter God’s nearness in a place of wilderness in your life (pain, confusion, healing journey). Want to start a group at your church? Reach out to us here to learn how.

 

What Share The Struggle Believes

Here at Share The Struggle we believe Jesus is present with us in the middle of our pain and mess, and it is in that place that we often experience and encounter Jesus most deeply.

We understand the unique challenges faced by Christians dealing with mental health. Our mission is to bridge the gap between faith and mental health support, providing a platform where individuals can find resources, coaching support and guidance, all tailored to their spiritual life and emotional needs.

We invite you to explore our resources, share your journey, and find the support you need to overcome the struggles you face.

Austin Cavaliere
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You Are Not Your Anxiety