Relationship with Others

Course Cut-OutMore Than Your Past - Shedding Shame and Guilt
Written By Austin Cavaliere

If you need help seeing Jesus in the middle of your struggle, or just feel like you are stuck, ready to move into growth and healing, connect with a Christian coach.

Excerpt: Relationship with Others - More Than Your Past Session 6

Course: More Than Your Past - Shedding Shame & Guilt

Speakers: Cathy Loerzel, Benji Horning

The Hope in Healing: Reclaiming Our Stories with Kindness

What's the true hope when we understand the link between shame and our experiences of humiliation and mockery? It's about more than just moving on; it's about actively uncovering the untrue narratives we've internalized and choosing to revisit our past with a deep sense of kindness. Often, the very parts of ourselves we've held in contempt hold the keys to our strength and resilience.

The Power of Kindness: Rescuing Our Wounded Selves

Just as I've found it essential to offer compassion to my younger, awkward self – to see the budding courage beneath the self-consciousness – can you connect with those parts of you that carry shame? Those moments of feeling "less than," of being excluded or ridiculed, leave lasting imprints. They need you to come back, to rescue and redeem them. They need you to help them tell their story, to recognize that they weren't inherently broken or dirty, but wounded, navigating situations with the limited understanding and resources they had. It's about shifting from blame to understanding.

Healing in Community: Witnessing Our Whole Selves

This healing process thrives in the context of relationship and community. It's difficult, if not impossible, to fully revisit and reframe those wounded parts of ourselves in isolation. We need safe friends and communities who can stand with us, delight in the seeds of strength within those younger versions of ourselves, and help us see the powerful connection between who we were then and who we are now. It's not solely about a dramatic "tell-all" confession, where we simply list our "sins." It's about finding a tender, compassionate part within ourselves that can go back with genuine kindness to those younger, hurting aspects of ourselves still in need of care and validation.

The Courage of Confession: Finding Freedom in Community

While the prospect of sharing our shame can feel incredibly daunting – that fear of losing credibility, position, or intimacy – the act of confession often leads to a profound sense of freedom. My experience as a pastor has repeatedly shown me that. There's a deep longing within us to be truly known, to release the burden of pretense.

The enemy often works diligently to keep us believing that hiding our shame is a form of self-preservation. But confession, while requiring courage, unlocks a sense of release. You don't need to confess to a crowd; start small. Find a trusted friend or community, create a safe space by prefacing your honesty with vulnerability, and allow yourself to be honest. Your courage can inspire others to step into their own vulnerability, breaking down the walls of isolation that shame erects. And if past experiences with confession were negative, that makes seeking out safe spaces for it even more essential for true healing.

Walking in the Light: The Transformative Power of Authenticity

Living a life free from the weight of hidden shame has radical ramifications. When we allow ourselves to be fully known and loved, embracing our imperfections and vulnerabilities, we become living narratives of the gospel. Someone may not be impressed by a performance-based version of yourself, but when they witness you being fully human yet confident in God's grace, it changes the atmosphere.

Remember, what festers and grows in the dark dies in the light. Embrace the courage to bring what lives in the shadows into the light, even if it takes every ounce of strength you possess, allowing yourself to walk in the freedom and wholeness of your authentic self.

 

If you like the content, you can continue in a few different ways…

  • 1) See the outline below and check out other sections from the FFP course.

  • 2) Take the full small group course to your church community! The first course your church runs is free! Reach out to us here to learn how.

  • 3) Connect with a Share The Struggle Coach for one-on-one support. Let’s face it, some of us have tried kicking this thing, and we’ve had no luck. It’s time to start looking toward forms of support that can help us see and feel the beautiful life God has in store for us.

 

More Than Your Past

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More Than Your Past 〰️

Session 1

Session 2

Session 3

Session 4

Session 5

Session 6

 

Share The Struggle Courses

Share the Struggle Courses are topical expert led video courses to help you understand life’s greatest struggles and provide you with tools for navigating them. Moreover, STS courses create a space for you to connect with others struggling with similar things, experience belonging, and encounter God’s nearness in a place of wilderness in your life (pain, confusion, healing journey). Want to start a group at your church? Reach out to us here to learn how.

 

What Share The Struggle Believes

Here at Share The Struggle we believe Jesus is present with us in the middle of our pain and mess, and it is in that place that we often experience and encounter Jesus most deeply.

We understand the unique challenges faced by Christians dealing with mental health. Our mission is to bridge the gap between faith and mental health support, providing a platform where individuals can find resources, coaching support and guidance, all tailored to their spiritual life and emotional needs.

We invite you to explore our resources, share your journey, and find the support you need to overcome the struggles you face.

Austin Cavaliere
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Redeeming Shame
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Relationship with Self