The Helping Framework: Share
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Excerpt: Helping Helpers - Session 1
Section: The Helping Framework - Share
Speakers: Ryan Miller & Matthias Barker
Sharing the Struggle: Meaningful Ways to Connect and Support
The Dual Meaning of "Share"
In our model, the third word is share, which has two significant meanings. Firstly, we share in the struggle of the person we're talking to by meeting them in that space emotionally and physically, being present with them. Secondly, there are moments when it’s appropriate to share a part of our own story, offering insights or experiences that might be relevant to what they're going through.
Balancing Empathy and Boundaries
Ryan, how do you share without feeling dragged into someone else's issues or risking burnout? This is a common challenge, especially in supportive roles within the church.
One key scripture that sheds light on this is found in Galatians 6. It appears contradictory at first:
Galatians 6:2: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
Galatians 6:5: "For each will have to bear his own load."
The Greek words clarify this. The term for burden in verse 2 refers to an overwhelming weight, something requiring empathy and support. In contrast, the load in verse 5 refers to personal responsibilities, which we are not meant to take on for others. Jesus exemplified this by empathizing with humanity without taking on individual responsibilities beyond what was his to bear.
How to Share Your Story
While it’s crucial to empathize, we also need to know when and how to share our own stories without overshadowing the other person's experience.
Questions to Consider Before Sharing:
Am I sharing this story for me or for them?
Is my story relevant to their current struggle?
Am I sharing to correct content or to connect with their emotional state?
Sharing with Intention
Sharing a story should aim to connect at an emotional level, addressing the heart and the wound, rather than just the content. It's essential to ensure the story is genuinely applicable and to avoid taking over the conversation.
Practical Tips:
Ask Yourself: Is this about me or about helping them?
Stay Relevant: Ensure your story directly relates to their experience.
Maintain Focus: After sharing, bring the conversation back to them with questions like, "What do you make of that?" or "Is there any part of my experience that resonates with you?"
Three-Story Discipleship
At Share the Struggle, we practice a method called three-story discipleship:
Listen to Their Story: Understand their perspective and what they care about.
Connect with Your Story: Relate their experience to your own, but with empathy and relevance.
God's Greater Story: Integrate how God's overarching narrative connects to both your stories.
Building Trust and Authenticity
Effective evangelism and support are built on trust and genuine connection. By empathizing with their story, sharing relevant aspects of our own, and relating it to God's greater story, we create a space where healing and growth can occur.
Conclusion
Sharing in someone's struggle involves both being present with them and knowing when and how to share your own experiences. It's about empathy without overstepping, offering support without taking over, and always bringing the focus back to their journey. By doing so, we fulfill our role in a meaningful and impactful way, fostering deep, healing connections.
The Share the Struggle Helping Helpers Course is designed for helpers & leaders both formally (pastors, small group leaders) and informally (family, friends, volunteers), giving a practical and safe framework for coming alongside someone well in the middle of their struggle(s). The Share the Struggle L.E.S.S. (Listen, Explore, Share, Support) framework equips helpers with the tools for active listening, root cause exploration, 3-story discipleship, and when to involve other forms of support. Furthermore, helping helpers walks listeners through the specific considerations and tools for helping someone through anxiety, shame, trauma, miscarriage, pornography addiction, grief, eating disorders, and suicide prevention.
Share The Struggle Courses
Share the Struggle Courses are topical expert led video courses to help you understand life’s greatest struggles and provide you with tools for navigating them. Moreover, STS courses create a space for you to connect with others struggling with similar things, experience belonging, and encounter God’s nearness in a place of wilderness in your life (pain, confusion, healing journey).
What Share The Struggle Believes
Here at Share The Struggle we believe Jesus is present with us in the middle of our pain and mess, and it is in that place that we often experience and encounter Jesus most deeply.
We understand the unique challenges faced by Christians dealing with mental health. Our mission is to bridge the gap between faith and mental health support, providing a platform where individuals can find resources, coaching support and guidance, all tailored to their spiritual life and emotional needs.
We invite you to explore our resources, share your journey, and find the support you need to overcome the struggles you face.
