Discovering the Roots of our Anxiety
If you need help seeing God in the middle of your struggle, or just feel like you are stuck, ready to move into growth and healing, connect with a Christian coach.
Excerpt: Helping Helpers - Session 3
Section: Anxiety - Discovering the Roots of our Anxiety
Speaker: Matthias Barker
Understanding and Addressing Anxiety: A Compassionate Approach
Anxiety can arise from a multitude of sources, from specific circumstances to deeper, unresolved traumas. Identifying the root of our anxiety and understanding the internal dialogue it creates is crucial in managing and alleviating it. Here's a step-by-step guide to navigating anxiety with a focus on introspection and compassion.
Identifying the Source of Anxiety
Circumstantial Anxiety: Sometimes, anxiety is linked to specific events or phobias, like fear of spiders or an upcoming presentation.
Deeper Anxiety: Often, anxiety is tied to deeper issues such as trauma, broken relationships, social rejection, or past experiences.
Exploring Inner Dialogue
The first step in addressing anxiety is to explore the inner dialogue and conflicts within ourselves. This can be done through:
Journaling: Writing down thoughts using different colored pens to represent different parts of your inner dialogue.
Verbalization: Speaking out loud the different perspectives and voices in your mind.
Personifying Internal Characters
Using the metaphor of personifying parts of yourself can help organize and understand your internal conflicts. This approach is inspired by Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.
Critical Voice: Often, there is a critical part that harshly judges the anxious part. This voice could echo past influences like parents, bullies, or internalized insecurities.
Anxious Voice: The part of you that feels scared, unsure, and overwhelmed.
Observing the Interaction
Imagine these parts of yourself sitting at a boardroom table:
Critical Part: This part might say, "Why can't you just be normal? You're messing things up again."
Anxious Part: This part may feel smaller and more withdrawn, exacerbated by the critical voice.
Notice the impact of the critical voice on the anxious part. Often, criticism leads to increased anxiety and further withdrawal, rather than motivating positive change.
Compassionate Intervention
To break this cycle, it’s essential to introduce compassion:
Acknowledge the Critic: Recognize that the critical voice often stems from a desire to protect or improve but is misguided in its approach.
Show Compassion to the Anxious Part: Offer kindness and understanding to the anxious part. Acknowledge its fears and validate its feelings.
Practical Steps for Compassionate Support
Dialogue with Compassion: Engage in a compassionate conversation between the critical and anxious parts. For example:
Critical Part: "I understand you want to help and prevent more pain, but your approach might be too harsh."
Anxious Part: "I appreciate that you're trying to protect me, but I need support and kindness to feel safe and make progress."
Reframe the Critic's Role: Help the critical part adopt a more supportive role, becoming a coach or guide rather than a harsh judge.
Focus on Core Values: Encourage the anxious part to connect with what truly matters. When focused on core values and deeper desires, decisions often become clearer.
Create Safe Spaces: Practice creating safe, non-judgmental spaces within your mind where all parts can express themselves freely.
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Practices: Engage in mindfulness exercises and self-compassion techniques to strengthen these internal dialogues.
Long-Term Strategies
Therapeutic Support: Seek professional help if needed. Therapists trained in IFS or other modalities can provide valuable guidance.
Regular Self-Reflection: Make time for regular introspection to understand and address emerging anxieties.
Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or support groups who can offer compassionate listening and understanding.
By understanding and personifying the different parts of our internal dialogue, we can offer compassion and support to ourselves, transforming anxiety into a more manageable and insightful experience.
The Share the Struggle Helping Helpers Course is designed for helpers & leaders both formally (pastors, small group leaders) and informally (family, friends, volunteers), giving a practical and safe framework for coming alongside someone well in the middle of their struggle(s). The Share the Struggle L.E.S.S. (Listen, Explore, Share, Support) framework equips helpers with the tools for active listening, root cause exploration, 3-story discipleship, and when to involve other forms of support. Furthermore, helping helpers walks listeners through the specific considerations and tools for helping someone through anxiety, shame, trauma, miscarriage, pornography addiction, grief, eating disorders, and suicide prevention.
Share The Struggle Courses
Share the Struggle Courses are topical expert led video courses to help you understand life’s greatest struggles and provide you with tools for navigating them. Moreover, STS courses create a space for you to connect with others struggling with similar things, experience belonging, and encounter God’s nearness in a place of wilderness in your life (pain, confusion, healing journey).
What Share The Struggle Believes
Here at Share The Struggle we believe Jesus is present with us in the middle of our pain and mess, and it is in that place that we often experience and encounter Jesus most deeply.
We understand the unique challenges faced by Christians dealing with mental health. Our mission is to bridge the gap between faith and mental health support, providing a platform where individuals can find resources, coaching support and guidance, all tailored to their spiritual life and emotional needs.
We invite you to explore our resources, share your journey, and find the support you need to overcome the struggles you face.
