Biblical Guidance: Verses on Rudeness and Kindness
Introduction
When searching for Bible verses about being rude to others, you'll discover that the Bible actually emphasizes the importance of kindness, humility, and respectful behavior. If you want the quick version, here are some of the most relevant verses:
Proverbs 21:23: "Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity."
Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
As Christians, when we struggle with our ability to respond with kindness, the Bible serves as our truth about why we choose to love. We received the free gift of salvation, and so it’s out of a heart of joy that we treat others with kindness. Beyond the posture of a loving desire, we also want to model Christ. How we choose to respond cultivates an environment where those you encounter (who may treat you poorly) might see something unique that drives them to dig deeper. Once we can embrace both truths in our response is when we are wholeheartedly living out our call to be Christ like.
There is a simplicity and difficulty to carrying this out. How can that be? Some of us have deep rooted ruts in our daily practices that have, over time, either reinforced positive or negative habits related to our struggles. In the case of practicing kindness, these ruts can prevent our ability to deeply feel biblical truth (head knowledge about scripture and how we are to love others) and carry that out. Those built up habits can also prevent us from seeing opportunities with those we encounter on a regular basis.
Exploring these verses and their meanings can help us understand why avoiding rude behavior is essential in living a godly life. Let's dive deeper into what the Bible says about being rude to others and how we can strive to embody kindness and respect in our daily interactions.
Bible Verses About Being Rude to Others
Proverbs 21:23
"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity."
This verse highlights the importance of controlling our words. Speaking without thinking can lead to trouble, but guarding our speech can help us avoid many problems.
Ephesians 4:29
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Paul's message to the Ephesians emphasizes speaking positively. Our words should uplift and benefit others, not tear them down.
Proverbs 15:1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Responding gently can defuse anger and prevent conflicts. Harsh words, on the other hand, can escalate situations and create more tension.
Colossians 3:8
"But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips."
Paul advises the Colossians to eliminate negative speech. Anger and malice in our words can harm relationships and our spiritual well-being.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
This well-known passage describes love's attributes. True love is not rude or self-seeking but honors others and remains patient and kind.
Matthew 5:22
"But I tell you that anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."
Jesus warns against using derogatory language. Insulting others can have serious spiritual consequences.
James 3:9-10
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be."
James points out the inconsistency of praising God while cursing others. We should strive for our speech to consistently reflect our faith.
Proverbs 14:21
"Whoever despises their neighbor sins, but blessed are those who are kind to the needy."
Despising others is sinful, but kindness, especially towards those in need, brings blessings.
Titus 3:2
"To slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone."
Paul instructs Titus to avoid slander and be gentle and considerate. Peaceful and respectful behavior aligns with Christian values.
Romans 12:10
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Paul encourages the Romans to show devotion and honor others. Prioritizing others' needs and showing respect is central to Christian love.
These Bible verses about being rude to others remind us to watch our words and actions. By embodying these principles, we can create a more loving and respectful environment around us.
Next, we'll explore how to deal with rude and hurtful people according to biblical wisdom.
Dealing with Rude and Hurtful People
Matthew 5:44
In Matthew 5:44, Jesus teaches a radical approach to dealing with enemies and those who treat us poorly: "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." That’s right, we are actively called to respond to rudeness and hurt with love and prayer, rather than retaliation.
Loving our enemies means showing kindness and compassion even when it's not reciprocated. Jesus highlights that this behavior reflects the character of God, who "causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous" (Matthew 5:45). By loving those who are rude to us, we demonstrate the transformative power of God's love. We also don’t need to let situations of unresolved tension weigh us down. As Matthew 5:45 suggests, God is the ultimate judge and is sovereign over outcomes. He has victory over the unjust and the just.
Proverbs 9:7-12
Proverbs 9:7-12 provides practical wisdom on how to handle rude and wicked individuals. Verses 7-8 caution against criticizing or correcting those who are disrespectful or wicked, as it only invites insults and hatred: "Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you."
Instead, the passage advises us to focus on those who are wise and receptive to correction. Teaching and instructing the wise leads to greater wisdom and understanding. This approach not only protects us from unnecessary conflict but also fosters a more positive and fruitful interaction.
The key takeaway from Proverbs 9:10 is that "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." We start with posture of humility. We accept that fearing the Lord and living according to His ways (following scriptures guidance on how we interact with others) is the foundation of wisdom and our first priority. A fear of the Lord accepts that we don’t have all the answers, but Jesus does. That posture positions us to seek him in a relational way to learn and ask how He wants us to interact with someone.
You’ll likely see Jesus move in some radical ways when you open up your situations to this approach.
Christian Response and Wisdom
Combining the teachings of Matthew 5:44 and Proverbs 9:7-12, we see a clear Christian response to rudeness: respond with love and wisdom. Instead of engaging in futile arguments or retaliating, we are called to:
Love our enemies and pray for those who mistreat us.
Avoid correcting the rude and focus on those who are open to wisdom.
Seek God's guidance and wisdom to handle challenging situations.
Dealing with Rude and Hurtful People
Matthew 5:44
Jesus teaches us to love our enemies and bless those who curse us. This means we should respond with kindness, even when treated poorly. We show Christ's love by praying for those who hurt us.
*Note - this in no way suggests a repeated invitation of such kind of behavior. God wants us in safe honoring situations where we are cared for and loved. Matthew 5:44 simply highlights our response when we find ourselves in those situations, as there is inevetibly to such circumstances in a world of sin - we simply fail each other time and time again, so our response is dictated by our heart posture.
Proverbs 9:7-12
These verses remind us to use wisdom when dealing with rude people. Sometimes, correcting someone who is rude won't help. Instead, we should focus on offering wisdom to those who are open to it.
By following these biblical principles, we can maintain our integrity and reflect the love and wisdom of Christ in our interactions with others. We also ask the Holy Spirit for guidance as we go about loving others who are rude and then offering wisdom to those willing to receive it. We aren't perfect and need the discernment of the Spirit to lead us through that process with grace. Sometimes we even need the Spirit to intercede on our behalf, when we simply don’t possess the ability to respond in the “right” way.
Conclusion
At Share The Struggle, we understand that dealing with rude and hurtful people can be challenging. Our faith-based approach aims to bridge the gap between emotional and mental health, providing a holistic support system tailored to your spiritual needs.
Mental and Emotional Health
Our emotional and mental health is the capacity for which we have the resilience and infrastructure to interact well with others. When this comes to our ability to respond with kindness, we believe Jesus and the Bible are adequate informants of our response, and yet we still might find ourselves needing external support to build up our internal and external capacities for kindness.
This is where Share the Struggle trained life coaches can help. With a working understanding of neuroscience informed care, our coaches are able to walk with you in a Christ centered way to help you grow in the areas you need support.
Captive Thoughts Coaching Model
Our captive thoughts coaching model is designed to help you manage negative thoughts and emotions. This model, grounded in biblical teachings, encourages you to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. By focusing on the thoughts that our from God and dispelling anything that is not, you can transform your interactions and improve your overall mental health.
We invite you to explore our coaching options.
