How to Love Difficult People in 5 Easy-to-Follow Steps
Introduction
Loving people who are hard to love can feel like an impossible task. Here's a quick answer to help you get started:
Believe the Best in Others
Pray for Yourself and Others
Practice Forgiveness and Compassion
Loving difficult people doesn't mean condoning bad behavior. It means offering grace and choosing to see beyond their actions to the pain they may be hiding. As Joyce Meyer puts it, "Most of the pain we receive from others is a result of their own pain."
In her book, Joyce Meyer offers practical wisdom rooted in the Bible, drawing from her personal experiences. By exploring topics like anger, strife, and offense, she helps us learn to love others unconditionally. This guide is essential for anyone struggling to love those around them.
When we choose to forgive and love others, even when it's hard, we mirror the love God shows us. This not only transforms our relationships but also brings peace to our hearts.
Step 1: Believe the Best in Others
Understanding Their Pain
The Bible tells us in First Corinthians 13:7 that “love is ever ready to believe the best of every person.” This means giving people the benefit of the doubt, showing them grace and mercy, and remembering that we are all imperfect humans.
One powerful idea to keep in mind is that hurting people hurt people. Often, the pain and anguish we receive from others are the result of their own personal struggles. For instance, Joyce Meyer shares a deeply personal story about her own childhood abuse and how it affected her behavior and relationships later in life. Her husband, Dave, remained patient and loving, which eventually helped her find healing.
Step 3: Practice Forgiveness and Compassion
Show Compassion
Empathy is key here. When someone is difficult, try to understand that they might be dealing with their own issues. This perspective can transform how we interact with them. Instead of reacting with anger or frustration, we can respond with compassion.
Sometimes, love means listening and being present. Other times, it might mean gently calling someone out for their actions. Understand what someone needs and offer them that graciously.
Avoiding Assumptions
This is a BIG one. It's easy to jump to conclusions when someone offends us. However, maintaining a positive mindset can change everything. Instead of thinking, "They did this to upset me on purpose," we can choose to think, "Maybe they are having a difficult day."
External factors often play a significant role in how people behave. They might be dealing with stress at work, family problems, or health issues. By believing the best in others, we allow room for these external influences and avoid making unfair assumptions.
We all have bad days. Offering others the same grace and mercy we hope to receive can make a big difference. As Joyce Meyer puts it, “Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision we make about how we will treat the people who have hurt us.”
In summary, understanding and empathy are the first steps in loving people who are hard to love. By believing the best in others and avoiding assumptions, we can create more compassionate and supportive relationships.
Now, let's move on to the next step: Praying for Yourself and Others.
Step 2: Pray for Yourself and Others
Praying for Yourself
Before we can effectively love others, especially those who are difficult to love, we need to look inward. Matthew 7:3-5 reminds us to first address our own faults:
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
This passage highlights the importance of self-reflection. When we pray for ourselves, we should ask God to reveal any areas where we need to change. Adopting a humble attitude is crucial. Instead of focusing on how others should change, ask God for the grace to transform you.
Joyce Meyer shares how she used to pray for her husband Dave to change. Eventually, she realized that she also needed to change. She began praying, “God, I would like for you to change Dave. But Lord, I may not even see this right—I may be the problem. God, first deal with me if I need to change.”
This kind of prayer fosters personal change and transformation. It helps you become more patient, understanding, and loving, making it easier to deal with difficult people.
Praying for Others
Praying for others, especially those who hurt us, can be challenging. However, Matthew 5:44 instructs us to do just that:
"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
When we pray for others, we should ask God to help them become who He wants them to be. Pray for their heart change and for them to be free from whatever is causing them pain.
Joyce Meyer believes in using kindness as a weapon to overcome meanness. By praying for those who are hard to love, we align ourselves with God’s will and open the door for His love to flow through us.
Consider this: When someone is rude or hurtful, they may be going through a tough time. Instead of reacting with anger, pray for them. Ask God to give them peace and healing. This not only helps them but also frees you from harboring resentment.
In summary, praying for yourself and others is a powerful step in loving people who are hard to love. It aligns our hearts with God's will and helps us approach difficult relationships with grace and compassion.
Next, we will explore the importance of practicing forgiveness and compassion.
Step 3: Practice Forgiveness and Compassion
Be Ready to Forgive
Forgiveness is not just a feeling; it’s a decision. Ephesians 4:32 tells us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Letting go of grudges can bring emotional freedom and healing. Holding onto anger only hurts you.
Joyce Meyer shares her personal story of forgiving her abusive father. Despite the pain he caused, she chose to forgive him and even took care of him in his old age. This act of forgiveness brought her peace and emotional freedom.
When you forgive, you release yourself from the chains of resentment. It’s not about excusing bad behavior; it’s about freeing your own heart. Forgiving those who wrong us is more about our own healing than anything else.
Show Compassion
Compassion goes hand in hand with forgiveness. First Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” This means we should cover the sins of others with love, not broadcast them.
Avoid gossip at all costs. Proverbs 11:13 warns, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” Gossip only spreads negativity and makes it harder to practice love. Instead, show compassion by keeping others’ faults to yourself.
Covering their sin doesn’t mean ignoring it, but rather dealing with it in a loving and private manner. This helps build trust and shows true compassion.
In summary, practicing forgiveness and compassion involves letting go of grudges and showing love, even when it’s hard. This approach not only heals relationships but also brings peace to your own heart.
Next, we will discuss how to take practical actions to support those who are difficult to love.
Conclusion
Navigating the complexities of loving people who are hard to love can be challenging, but it is a journey worth taking. At Share The Struggle, we believe in a faith-based approach to emotional and mental health. This means integrating biblical principles with practical strategies to help you love others more effectively.
We understand that loving difficult people involves more than just good intentions. It requires a deep commitment to personal growth and spiritual maturity. Our coaching services aim to support you on this journey by offering guidance rooted in faith and compassion.
Faith-Based Approach
Our faith-based approach is grounded in the belief that God's love can transform even the most challenging relationships. By focusing on biblical teachings and the example of Jesus, we provide you with the tools to navigate difficult interactions with grace and patience. For instance, Joyce Meyer often emphasizes the importance of leaning on God's Word to retain peace and joy, even when faced with difficult people.
Emotional and Mental Health
Emotional and mental health are crucial aspects of loving others well. When we are emotionally healthy, we are better equipped to handle the stress and challenges that come with difficult relationships. At Share The Struggle, we offer resources and coaching to help you strengthen your emotional resilience. This includes strategies for managing anger, avoiding strife, and dealing with offenses in a healthy way.
Captive Thoughts Coaching Model
Our Captive Thoughts Coaching Model is designed to help you take control of your thoughts and emotions. Inspired by biblical teachings, this model encourages you to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). By doing so, you can transform negative thought patterns and cultivate a mindset of love and forgiveness.
In summary, loving difficult people is a journey that requires faith, emotional resilience, and practical strategies. At Share The Struggle, we are here to support you every step of the way. If you're ready to take the next step in your journey, visit our coaching options page to learn more about how we can help you build relationships of trust and love.
