Exploring personal identity is a fundamental aspect of our existence. Questions of "Who am I?" often arise during periods of change or crisis, leading to an identity exploration that can impact our mental health. For Christians, this exploration is not just about discovering who we are in a worldly sense but also understanding our identity in Christ. Recognizing that we are beloved by God, regardless of our achievements, failures, or social status, can provide a stable foundation for our sense of self and mental well-being.

Who am I?

This is up there with one of life’s greatest questions. When we discuss identity, this question is the center piece. In Fuller Youth Institutes study of Gen Z teenagers, this question rose to the surface as THE question teens are seeking to find an answer too. And quite frankly, the same goes for adults too.

As we move through different experiences, this is only natural to begin wondering and discovering who you are. And depending on the cultural environment, family system, and friend group you belong to (when you were a teen, or today if you still are a teen), we each seem to find our own answer to this question. For some of us, asking Who am I, leads to identifying as “I am an athlete.” For some of us, asking who am I, leads to identifying as “I am a scholarly student.”There are so many variations of this… depending on your unique story. Here are a few that you might find yourself identifying with (or opposing):

“I am the golden child”
“I am the rebel child”
“I am popular”
“I am a nerd”
“I am a creative”
“I am a party kid”
“I am a republican”
“I am an immigrant”
“I am a musician”

There are countless cultural identities that we discover in our developmental years. But I don’t think this is news to you. The real question becomes, who am I, when who I typically identified as, doesn’t seem to fit anymore? When you come into an identity crisis, this is when your mental health is impacted. When your sense of self no longer feels stable, your daily purpose, direction, and motivation can become convoluted.

This can lead to confusion, hopelessness, anxiety, and depression (just to name a few). So, does this mean we should avoid the question? Absolutely not. Without even trying, subconsciously or consciously, you will inevitably ask this question throughout the entirety of your life.

Exploring Who I am

This is who God made us to be. We have a deep longing for self-awareness. This is actually what makes us human. Other species do not wonder who they are and what their purpose is. But for us, God put this wonder in our heart. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

So perhaps you are here today, struggling with your mental health and even actively questioning who you are. Perhaps one of the ways which you identified has come crumbling down. You were an athlete, but then you got injured. You were the rule follower, but then you went to college and began to party and disappoint your parents. You were married, but then you got divorced. You were an atheist, but then you started wondering about faith.

Ask Yourself the Questions

Before we go into what you can do when in an identity crisis, let’s start by acknowledging that this is a beautiful and important question to wrestle with. If not today, at some point you will have to wrestle with who you are. And this journey of self-discovery is not a quick fix… but rather a life-long endeavor of discovering what makes you, you.

So we encourage you to embark on this journey. But here is the catch. Don’t go alone. When we go in isolation, we end up seeing ourselves through our wounds. It turns out we can’t truly know ourselves in isolation. We need the listening ear of another person to reflect back what they hear us saying. Consider connecting with a Share the Struggle Coach.

Connect with Others

We need others who have gone before us to help us find healthy outlets for discovering who we are. (Not all self-discovery our world has to offer is healthy. In fact, many versions of experimental discovery can be damaging to our sense of self and leave us even more wounded. We need the wisdom of others to help us put up the right guardrails for the journey.)

We need a community of sojourners who are also wrestling with this same question. Consider joining a Share the Struggle community (run our courses with a group of individuals going through similar questions/struggles).

We even need the conflict that comes from being in connection with others. Conflict tells us so much about our own triggers, backstory, and uniqueness. We can’t discover these things on our own.

Identity in Christ

When our identity is rooted in Christ, we can experience true freedom and flourishing, knowing that our worth remains constant regardless of the circumstances. Turn to God for the deepest insight for discovering who you are. Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV) says:

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

God formed you and knows you. In turning to him, we can discover who he designed us to be. There are no two fingerprints alike in all 7 billion-ish people on the planet. Every single one of us is made in God’s image with inherent dignity and worth. Despite our wandering and rebellious ways (what the Bible calls sin), we are still loved by God. And furthermore, God has a lot to say about our identity.

The Truth of what God says about you

God says that the truest thing about you is that you are his. Not because of anything you’ve done, but simply because he made you. You are worthy of love, in and of yourself. 1 John 3:1 (NIV) says: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

Our prayer is that you would discover this unshakable identity in Christ. Many other ways we identify ourselves can be healthy expressions of who God made us to be. But God says that we have an unshakable, foundational, core identity in him.

No matter what life’s circumstances come, your worth as one created in God’s image will never change. The outer aspects of our identity seem to come and go through the seasons of our life. But what is at the core of who we really are and why we matter, never changes in Christ! And knowing this truth can fortify your mental health!

The Truth will set you free

John 8:32 says “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” The unshakeable truth of who you are in Christ will usher in freedom and flourishing into your life!

This poem by Bobby Schuller captures it well:

"I’m not what I do.

I’m not what I have.

I’m not what people say about me.

I’m beloved by God.

It’s who I am.

No one can take it from me.

I don’t have to worry.

I don’t have to hurry.

I can trust my friend Jesus.

And share His love with the world."

Final thought: it is one thing to read about being God’s beloved, but it is a whole other thing to know that truth deep in your heart. Consider connecting with an STS coach, a pastor near you, or a friend. It is in relationship with others that things we read about start taking hold in our heart.

Share the Struggle

At Share the Struggle, we understand that life's challenges, mental health struggles, and even mental disorders can feel overwhelming. We meet these needs for the Kingdom in two ways:

1. Mental Health Informed Coaches that can be a source of truth in helping you understand and identify your thought life as the greatest way to understand the truth God says about you. Our coaches use our captive thoughts model, the foundation of which was taken from Jesus’ charge for us to “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV).

2. Expert Led Video Courses created by industry experts on a variety of topics made to help you heal in community. Our courses are made to facilitate vulnerability and connectedness with others struggling with similar things so you can know you are not alone and can walk in freedom together.

Contact Us

To get into contact with the Share the Struggle team, send us an email about any of your questions, concerns, and comments.

Identity Exploration: Who Am I?