Growing as a Christian Man: Habits for Spiritual Strength
The Journey to Biblical Manhood
The path of how to grow as a Christian man isn't a destination but a lifelong journey of change. At its core, this journey revolves around five essential habits that, when practiced consistently, shape your character and deepen your relationship with God.
Your spiritual growth begins with daily Bible reading. Even just 10 minutes spent in Scripture each morning can profoundly impact your day and gradually transform your mind. This simple practice—sadly overlooked by six out of seven Christian men—is actually the strongest predictor of spiritual maturity.
Alongside Scripture, consistent prayer forms the foundation of your relationship with God. Many men find the A.C.T.S. method helpful: beginning with Adoration (praising God), moving to Confession (acknowledging shortcomings), expressing Thanksgiving, and concluding with Supplication (requests for yourself and others).
No man grows strong in isolation. Joining a brotherhood of like-minded believers provides the accountability, encouragement, and challenge needed for genuine growth. These relationships forge spiritual steel, just as Proverbs describes iron sharpening iron.
Christ-like manhood always expresses itself through serving others. When you practice servant leadership as Jesus modeled—putting others' needs before your own—you experience the paradoxical truth that the path to greatness lies in humility.
Finally, stewarding your physical and emotional health recognizes that God cares about your whole being. Your body is His temple, and your emotional wellbeing matters to Him. Regular exercise, adequate rest, and emotional awareness all contribute to spiritual vitality.
"Your perseverance, under God, is in your habits," David Mathis wisely observed. "Heaven and hell hangs on habits. Show me a man's habits, and you'll give me a glimpse into his very soul." This profound truth reminds us that spiritual growth isn't about sporadic bursts of devotion but daily faithfulness.
Many Christian men feel stuck in their faith journey, uncertain how to progress beyond spiritual infancy. The good news is that growth doesn't require superhuman willpower—it comes through establishing rhythms that position you to receive God's grace. These disciplines gradually reshape your character, affecting every dimension of life: your walk with God, your family relationships, your work ethic, and your community involvement.
If you're struggling to establish these habits on your own, coaching can provide the structure and accountability you need. Whether through weekly group sessions ($40/month) or personalized one-on-one coaching ($180-$360/month), having someone journey alongside you can make the difference between intention and action.
How to Grow as a Christian Man: Core Definition
What does it really mean to grow as a Christian man? At its heart, it's about finding your true identity in Christ rather than in the world's narrow definitions of success or masculinity. Unlike cultural messages that equate manhood with achievement, power, or status, biblical manhood is fundamentally about discipleship—becoming more like Jesus every day.
Think of spiritual growth as the journey from spiritual infancy to maturity. It's not about perfection, but progress. It's about moving from milk to solid food, as Scripture puts it. When we understand manhood through this lens, everything changes.
"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." - John 13:35
This verse captures the essence of Christian maturity for men. It's not strength, success, or even knowledge that marks a growing disciple—it's love. For men specifically, this love expresses itself through servant leadership, protection, and provision for others.
Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Your growth as a Christian man doesn't happen in isolation. It requires brothers walking alongside you, challenging you, encouraging you, and sometimes lovingly confronting you.
If you're seeking personalized support to navigate these challenges, integrate these principles into your life, and transform the limiting beliefs that hinder your hope, consider partnering with a Share the Struggle Coach on your journey.
Why Spiritual Growth Matters for Men
Your spiritual growth isn't just a personal matter—it ripples outward, affecting everything and everyone around you. Here's why it matters so deeply:
First, consider your legacy. The kind of man you become determines what you'll pass to the next generation. Your children and grandchildren will inherit not just your possessions but your priorities, your character, and your faith. As 2 Timothy 2:2 reminds us, we're called to entrust what we've learned to reliable people who will teach others.
Your leadership capacity directly connects to your spiritual maturity. Whether you lead in your home, workplace, church, or community, your effectiveness flows from your character, not your position. Jesus modeled leadership through service, not dominance.
The impact on your family can't be overstated. A spiritually growing man creates an atmosphere where others can flourish. When you love sacrificially as Ephesians 5:25 describes—"just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"—you create space for authentic relationships to thrive.
Your growth also contributes to church health. Strong churches need spiritually vital men who serve, give, and participate actively in the body of Christ. When men disengage spiritually, churches struggle.
Finally, there's the reality of personal fulfillment. Men who actively pursue spiritual growth consistently report greater peace, purpose, and satisfaction. As Jesus promised, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).
Signs You Are Growing as a Christian Man
How do you know if you're actually making progress? Look for these indicators in your life:
The fruit of the Spirit becomes increasingly evident. Galatians 5:22-23 describes these qualities: "love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." These aren't personality traits but evidence of the Spirit's work in your life.
Your love for God and others deepens. Jesus identified this as the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37-40). As you grow, you find yourself genuinely caring more about others and desiring God's presence more consistently.
Humility increases as pride diminishes. A maturing Christian man becomes more aware of his dependence on God and less concerned with status or recognition. You start to find joy in others' success rather than feeling threatened by it.
You develop greater resilience in trials. James 1:2-4 teaches that difficulties produce perseverance and maturity. A growing Christian man doesn't avoid challenges but faces them with steadier faith and character.
Your hunger for God's Word intensifies. Like the Psalmist who found God's words "sweeter than honey" (Psalm 119:103), you develop a genuine appetite for Scripture that goes beyond duty to delight.
Many men find that working with a coach accelerates this growth process. Having someone who understands the journey, asks the right questions, and holds you accountable can make a profound difference. Share The Struggle offers both group coaching ($40/month) and one-on-one coaching ($180-$360/month) specifically designed to support men in their spiritual growth journey.
Biblical Foundations and Motivations
When it comes to how to grow as a Christian man, the Bible provides our roadmap. This isn't just about following rules—it's about understanding God's design for authentic manhood.
Think about it: the creation story shows us that men are made in God's image (Genesis 1:27), given meaningful work, and called to care for what God has entrusted to us (Genesis 2:15). This gives us our starting point—our identity and purpose come from God, not from cultural expectations or stereotypes.
Jesus himself gives us the perfect model of manhood. He wasn't what the world expected. He showed incredible strength, but through serving others. He demonstrated courage through sacrifice. He led with love, not domination. As he said in Mark 10:45: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
I love how Micah 6:8 boils it down to essentials: "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Justice, mercy, humility—these are the marks of a man after God's own heart.
Paul reminds us in 1 Timothy 4:7-8 that this growth doesn't happen automatically: "Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." Just like building physical strength requires consistent training, becoming a godly man requires intentional habits and disciplines.
Cultural ManhoodBiblical ManhoodDefined by achievementDefined by characterValues independenceValues interdependenceMeasures success by statusMeasures success by serviceDriven by self-interestDriven by self-sacrificeFocuses on external appearanceFocuses on heart conditionSeeks controlSeeks surrender to God
Scripture as the Non-Negotiable Guide
The Bible isn't optional equipment for the Christian man—it's essential. As 2 Timothy 3:16-17 puts it, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
Here's something sobering: studies show that regular Bible reading is the habit most strongly linked to spiritual maturity. Yet only one in seven Christian men engage with Scripture weekly. No wonder so many of us feel stuck in our faith journey!
God's Word provides the direction we need when life gets confusing: "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path" (Psalm 119:105). It shows us where we need to grow, offers wisdom for tough decisions, encourages us when we want to give up, and transforms our thinking: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2).
You don't need to spend hours in Bible study to benefit. Even 10-15 minutes of thoughtful reading can nourish your spiritual growth over time. For more guidance on specific passages that fuel growth, check out our Grow in Christ Scripture resource.
Prayer: Fuel for the Journey
If Bible reading is the foundation, prayer is the fuel that powers a Christian man's spiritual journey. Prayer isn't just a religious box to check—it's a conversation that builds your relationship with God.
Many men find the A.C.T.S. model helpful for keeping prayer balanced:
Adoration: Taking time to praise God for who He is
Confession: Honestly acknowledging where you've fallen short
Thanksgiving: Expressing gratitude for God's blessings
Supplication: Bringing your requests and needs to God
Jesus, the perfect man, made prayer a priority. Even during his busiest seasons, he "often withdrew to lonely places and prayed" (Luke 5:16). He taught his disciples how to pray (Matthew 6:9-13) and told stories emphasizing persistence in prayer (Luke 18:1-8).
Prayer does something countercultural for men—it cultivates dependence. In a world that tells us to be self-reliant, prayer acknowledges our limitations and need for God's wisdom and strength. It's actually a sign of true strength to recognize where your power ends and God's begins.
When you pray for others (intercession), something powerful happens. Your focus shifts outward, your capacity for compassion grows, and you begin to see beyond your own concerns. This outward orientation is essential for growing as a Christian man.
Many men in our coaching program find that developing a consistent prayer life becomes a turning point in their growth journey. Having a coach to help establish this habit and provide accountability makes a significant difference. If you're struggling to maintain a consistent prayer life, consider how coaching might help you establish this vital connection with God.
Essential Habits for Spiritual Strength
Spiritual growth doesn't happen by accident. It requires intentional habits that position us to receive God's grace and be transformed by His Spirit. As Richard Sibbes wisely noted, "True Christian growth mirrors initial conversion: it happens by beholding Christ and experiencing his free grace repeatedly, not by willpower."
The journey to becoming a spiritually strong man isn't complicated, but it does require commitment. Let's explore five core habits that form the foundation of how to grow as a Christian man.
Habit 1 – Engage the Word Daily
Scripture engagement is the cornerstone of spiritual growth. You don't need to become a Bible scholar overnight – just start small and be consistent.
Many men find success beginning with a Gospel like John, which provides a wonderful introduction to Jesus. Using a study Bible or app like YouVersion can provide helpful context when passages seem confusing.
For busy men, audio Bibles have become a game-changer – listen during your commute, workout, or while doing chores around the house. The key is getting God's Word into your life daily, however that works best for you.
When you do sit down with Scripture, try the simple inductive approach: observe what the text says, interpret what it means, and apply it to your life. This practical method helps bridge the gap between ancient text and modern life.
As Hebrews 4:12 reminds us, "the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Scripture isn't just something you read – it reads you back.
Start with just 10 minutes each day. Consistency matters more than quantity. Over time, this simple habit will reshape your thinking, values, and character in profound ways.
Habit 2 – Practice Consistent Prayer
Prayer is simply conversation with God – both talking and listening. Many men struggle with prayer because they approach it as a formal religious duty rather than relationship-building dialogue.
Finding a specific time for prayer makes consistency easier. Many men find that early morning, before the day's distractions begin, works best. Having a dedicated prayer space – even if it's just a specific chair – can help signal your brain that it's time to focus.
When words don't come easily, try using prayer prompts. Prayer lists, journals, or apps can guide your conversations with God. For busy moments throughout the day, "breath prayers" – short prayers that can be prayed in a single breath like "Lord Jesus, have mercy on me" – keep your connection with God active.
The Psalms make excellent prayer templates. When you don't know what to pray, try praying God's words back to Him. The raw honesty of the Psalms gives us permission to bring our real emotions to God.
A.W. Tozer beautifully captured the heart of prayer: "O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more." This paradox – satisfaction that creates deeper hunger – is the experience of men growing through prayer.
Prayer isn't about impressive words or length. Jesus specifically warned against "babbling like pagans" who "think they will be heard because of their many words" (Matthew 6:7). Instead, approach prayer with sincerity and childlike trust.
Habit 3 – Join a Band of Brothers
Isolation is dangerous territory for Christian men. We need the encouragement, accountability, and perspective that comes from authentic relationships with other believers.
Proverbs 27:17 tells us, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." This sharpening process happens in community – specifically, in relationships with other men pursuing spiritual growth.
A men's small group provides regular connection around Scripture and life application. Many churches offer these groups, often focused on specific topics relevant to men's challenges. If your church doesn't have one, consider starting one.
Finding an accountability partner – one man with whom you can be completely honest – creates a space for both confession and encouragement. Meeting regularly (even virtually) keeps this relationship active and meaningful.
Men's retreats or conferences often serve as catalysts for deeper connections. These intensive experiences remove us from daily distractions and create space for God to work in powerful ways.
Serving alongside other men naturally builds brotherhood. There's something about shared mission that creates bonds that mere socializing cannot.
At Share The Struggle, we've witnessed the transformative power of men opening up about their challenges in a safe, supportive environment. Our weekly coaching groups provide this brotherhood for just $40/month – an investment that yields tremendous growth dividends.
Habit 4 – Serve with Sacrificial Love
Jesus redefined greatness in terms that still challenge us today: "Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:43-45).
Growing as a Christian man means developing this servant heart. It means laying down your life – your time, energy, resources, and preferences – for others.
Start by finding a consistent service role at church that uses your gifts, whether it's teaching children, greeting visitors, or helping with facility maintenance. At home, take initiative in meeting practical needs without being asked. In your community, look for opportunities to serve vulnerable populations through local organizations.
Practice hospitality by opening your home to others – for meals, game nights, or Bible studies. Train yourself to notice unmet needs that others might miss, then quietly meet them without seeking recognition.
Service isn't just something we do for others – it transforms us in the process. It develops humility, compassion, and gratitude. It shifts our focus from self to others, mirroring Christ's own mindset (Philippians 2:5-8).
For additional resources on developing servant leadership, check out BetterMan, which offers excellent materials on biblical manhood and service.
Habit 5 – Steward Body & Emotions
Spiritual growth isn't disconnected from physical and emotional health. As embodied beings, our physical condition affects our spiritual vitality, and our emotional health impacts our ability to love God and others well.
Physical stewardship matters. Adequate sleep isn't a luxury – it's essential for sound judgment and emotional regulation. Regular exercise reduces stress and improves mood (a fact confirmed by countless studies). A nutritious diet supports brain function and energy levels. And practicing moderation helps us avoid excesses that can become spiritual strongholds.
Emotional stewardship is equally important. Self-awareness – recognizing and naming your emotions – is the first step toward emotional health. Taking thoughts captive, as 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs, means examining your thought patterns against biblical truth. Processing grief and pain, rather than suppressing them, prevents emotional blockages that hinder spiritual growth.
Sometimes we need help in this journey. Seeking guidance from pastors, counselors, or coaches isn't weakness – it's wisdom. At Share The Struggle, our "captive thoughts coaching model" helps men identify unhealthy thought patterns and replace them with God's truth. This approach has helped countless men break free from negative thinking that hindered their spiritual growth.
Jon Bloom wisely notes, "Our emotions are gauges, not guides. They tell us where we are, but we shouldn't let them tell us where to go." Learning to interpret and respond to our emotions in light of Scripture is essential for spiritual growth.
Overcoming Obstacles and Staying Accountable
Let's be honest—growing as a Christian man isn't always smooth sailing. The path is often filled with obstacles that can slow your progress or even bring it to a halt. Every man walking with Jesus faces challenges, and acknowledging them is the first step toward overcoming them.
You might be struggling with intense temptation that seems to follow you everywhere. Perhaps overwhelming busyness has squeezed spiritual disciplines out of your schedule. Maybe nagging doubts about your faith have crept in, or isolation has left you feeling disconnected from other believers. Many men also battle discouragement when they don't see immediate results from their spiritual efforts.
As Paul Tripp wisely notes, "Most Christians feel comfortable with their past salvation... but they struggle with how to walk out their salvation in the present." This struggle isn't a sign of failure—it's a normal part of the journey that requires intentional strategies to overcome.
Resisting Temptation & Maintaining Integrity
Every man faces temptation—even Jesus himself was tempted (Hebrews 4:15). The question isn't whether temptation will come, but how you'll respond when it does.
God offers this encouraging promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
To maintain integrity, start by identifying your personal triggers—those situations, emotions, or environments that make you most vulnerable. Then establish clear boundaries before temptation strikes, not during its heat. Develop specific escape routes—predetermined actions you'll take when tempted. This might mean calling a friend, leaving a situation, or engaging in prayer.
For many men, pornography represents a significant struggle. At Share The Struggle, we believe healing from pornography addiction requires addressing the root causes, not just managing behaviors. This means exploring the emotional and spiritual needs driving the behavior while implementing practical safeguards like accountability software. If you're battling this issue, our complete guide on how to quit porn offers a holistic approach to finding freedom.
Memorizing Scripture arms you with truth when temptation strikes. As Psalm 119:11 says, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Even a few key verses can provide powerful protection in moments of weakness.
Balancing God, Family, Church, Work
One of the greatest challenges for Christian men is juggling multiple important responsibilities. Your work demands attention. Your family needs presence. Your church seeks involvement. And your personal relationship with God requires nurturing. How do you balance it all without dropping the ball?
Start by creating a time budget that intentionally allocates hours to your most important relationships and responsibilities. Just as you budget money, budget your time according to your true priorities, not just urgent demands.
Establish Sabbath rhythms in your week—regular times set aside for rest and renewal. God designed this pattern for our good, not to restrict us. When we ignore it, we eventually burn out.
Learning to say no may be one of the most spiritual skills you can develop. Every yes to one thing is a no to something else. Guard against overcommitment that ultimately serves neither God nor those you love.
Look for ways to integrate spiritual disciplines into your daily routine rather than seeing them as separate activities. Pray during your commute. Listen to Scripture while exercising. Discuss a Bible passage with your kids at dinner.
When possible, involve your family in ministry rather than creating competition between family time and church service. Serving together can strengthen both your family bonds and your collective spiritual growth.
Building Authentic Accountability
We weren't designed to grow alone. Accountability provides the support and perspective we need for consistent spiritual development. As Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
Effective accountability starts with vulnerability—a willingness to share struggles, not just successes. It requires specificity about particular areas where you need growth or face challenges. It thrives on consistency—regular check-ins, not just crisis intervention. And it balances grace and truth, offering acceptance alongside challenge.
When seeking accountability partners, look for men who are slightly ahead of you spiritually, who will speak truth even when it's difficult, who maintain confidentiality, who are accessible for regular connection, and who model what they encourage.
For deeper insights on accountability and spiritual growth, the Billy Graham Archive & Research Center offers valuable resources from one of Christianity's most respected voices.
Finding the right accountability relationship can be challenging. That's why many men benefit from working with a trained coach who understands the unique struggles Christian men face. At Share The Struggle, our coaches create safe spaces for men to be honest about their challenges while receiving guidance for growth. Whether through weekly group sessions ($40/month) or one-on-one coaching ($180-$360/month), this kind of structured accountability can accelerate your spiritual development.
The goal isn't perfection but progress. Every Christian man struggles at times. The difference between those who grow and those who stagnate often comes down to whether they face those struggles alone or with support. As you build authentic accountability into your life, you'll find the strength to overcome obstacles that once seemed impossible.
30-Day Action Plan to Grow as a Christian Man
Meaningful change rarely happens through dramatic overnight changes. Instead, it emerges through consistent small steps taken day after day. This 30-day roadmap provides a practical approach to building the foundational habits of how to grow as a Christian man.
Week 1 – Start Small with Word & Prayer
Your first week is about establishing a sustainable rhythm with Scripture and prayer. Don't worry about lengthy study sessions—start where you are.
Begin with just 5 minutes of Bible reading each morning. The Gospel of John offers an accessible entry point with its clear portrayal of Jesus. After reading, take a moment for a simple prayer of gratitude, asking God to help you apply what you've learned.
By mid-week, try extending your reading time to 10 minutes and experiment with the S.O.A.P. method. This approach helps you engage more deeply by writing down a meaningful verse, noting what stands out to you, considering how it applies to your life, and responding to God in prayer.
As the weekend approaches, add 5 minutes of structured prayer using the A.C.T.S. framework. This balanced approach guides you through Adoration (praising God's character), Confession (acknowledging shortcomings), Thanksgiving (expressing gratitude), and Supplication (making requests for yourself and others).
As Jerry Bridges wisely observed, "God has given us 'provisions' by which we may grow." These simple daily practices position your heart to receive those provisions.
Week 2 – Add Community & Worship
No man grows effectively in isolation. Your second week focuses on connecting with other believers and engaging in corporate worship.
Take time to research men's groups or Bible studies in your area. Your church website is a great starting point, but don't hesitate to ask your pastor or other men you respect for recommendations. Make a commitment to attend at least one gathering this week, even if it feels awkward at first.
While maintaining your daily Bible reading and prayer routine, incorporate worship music into your daily life—perhaps during your commute, workout, or household chores. Music can prepare your heart for worship in powerful ways.
Make attending a worship service a priority this weekend. Rather than passive participation, engage intentionally by noting how the experience shapes your perspective and emotions. After the service, take a few minutes to reflect on what you learned and identify one specific application for the coming week.
For more comprehensive guidance on spiritual growth practices, check out our article on How Do I Grow Spiritually as a Christian?
Mark Lyndon-Jones emphasizes this truth: "Authentic relationships are essential for spiritual growth. Christian men need others who will encourage them, challenge them, and walk alongside them through life's journey." Your growth will accelerate when shared with others.
Week 3 – Serve & Lead
Jesus defined greatness not by status but by service. This week, you'll practice servant leadership in tangible ways.
Identify one specific way to serve your family this week. This might mean taking on a household task your spouse usually handles, planning a thoughtful activity for your children, or initiating a meaningful conversation with a family member. The specific act matters less than the heart behind it.
Next, reach beyond your home by contacting your church or a local ministry about volunteer opportunities. Schedule a specific time to serve in the coming weeks—putting it on your calendar makes it far more likely to happen.
Take a step of spiritual leadership by facilitating a brief family devotion or spiritual conversation. This doesn't require theological expertise—simply share something meaningful from your personal Bible reading or pose a thoughtful question about faith. Your willingness to lead spiritually, even imperfectly, makes a profound impact.
Jesus's words in Mark 10:45 remind us that "even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Service isn't just something we do—it's who we become as we follow Christ.
Week 4 – Review, Celebrate, Adjust
Your final week focuses on reflection and planning for continued growth.
Take time to review any journal entries or notes from the past three weeks. Look for patterns in what God has been teaching you. Where have you seen progress? What challenges remain? This reflection helps solidify what you've learned and reveals areas for continued growth.
Share your journey with someone else—perhaps a friend, family member, or small group. Verbalizing what God has been doing helps cement these lessons in your own heart while potentially encouraging others in their faith journey.
As the month concludes, set specific goals for the next 90 days. Based on your experience, which habits do you want to continue? What adjustments would make them more effective? What new practices might you add? Be realistic about your capacity while still challenging yourself to grow.
Remember to celebrate progress, however small. Philippians 1:6 offers this encouragement: "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." This 30-day plan is just the beginning of a lifelong journey of growth.
For many men, having ongoing support makes the difference between temporary improvement and lasting change. Share The Struggle's weekly coaching groups ($40/month) provide affordable accountability and guidance from men who understand the challenges of spiritual growth. For those desiring more personalized guidance, one-on-one coaching ($180-$360/month) offers custom support for your specific growth areas. Visit our coaching page to learn more about how coaching can accelerate your spiritual growth journey.
Frequently Asked Questions about How to Grow as a Christian Man
What if my growth feels slow and invisible?
Ever planted a garden? You water the seeds, check the soil daily, and for what seems like forever... nothing happens. Spiritual growth often works the same way.
Spiritual growth is rarely dramatic or immediately visible. Like a farmer who plants seeds, you won't see what's happening underground at first. In Mark 4:26-29, Jesus compares the kingdom of God to this very process—seeds growing secretly while the farmer goes about his life, unable to explain exactly how the growth happens.
Jerry Bridges puts it perfectly: "Spiritual growth is often hard to see up close." Instead of looking for dramatic changes, watch for subtle shifts in your desires, thoughts, and responses to challenges. Maybe you're becoming more patient in traffic, or you're catching yourself before speaking harshly to your spouse.
Interestingly, many growing Christians actually become more aware of their sinfulness, not less. This heightened sensitivity isn't regression—it's evidence of the Holy Spirit's work making you more aware of areas needing change. It's like cleaning a dusty room; you don't notice how dusty it really is until sunlight streams through the window.
If you're struggling to see your growth, consider working with a coach who can provide an outside perspective. At Share The Struggle, our coaches are trained to help you recognize the growth that might be happening beneath the surface. Sometimes, we all need someone else to point out the changes we can't see in ourselves.
How do I find a mentor or accountability partner?
Finding the right mentor or accountability partner is a bit like dating—it takes intentionality, patience, and sometimes a few awkward conversations. But the payoff is absolutely worth it.
Start by praying specifically for God to lead you to the right person. This isn't just spiritual talk—prayer focuses your attention on what you're really looking for in a mentor relationship.
Look around your church for men who seem to be slightly ahead of you spiritually. Who shows the character qualities you admire? Who handles family relationships well? Who demonstrates wisdom in their decisions?
Many men find success by joining a men's group where natural mentoring relationships often develop. These groups provide a low-pressure environment to get to know potential mentors.
When you identify someone, be direct but humble in your request: "I've noticed how you handle work pressure with such peace. Would you be willing to meet monthly to talk about how you've developed that kind of stability?" Being specific helps both of you know what to expect.
It's often helpful to start with a defined timeframe: "Could we try meeting for three months and then reevaluate?" This gives both parties an easy exit if the relationship isn't a good fit.
If finding a mentor locally proves challenging, consider connecting with a Share The Struggle coach. Our coaching relationships provide structured accountability and guidance from trained professionals who understand the journey of Christian growth.
Can single men apply these principles the same way?
Absolutely! While some aspects might look different in application, the core principles of how to grow as a Christian man apply equally whether you're single or married.
In fact, Paul suggests in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 that single believers may have certain advantages in spiritual devotion: "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided."
As a single man, you might be able to:
Use greater flexibility in your schedule for extended prayer or Bible study
Invest deeply in church community and ministry opportunities
Develop strong brotherhood relationships without competing family commitments
Mentor younger believers or children who need positive male influence
Prepare for potential future family leadership through current spiritual growth
Single men often struggle with feeling sidelined in churches that emphasize family ministry. If that's your experience, Jesus and Paul—two of the most influential figures in Christianity—were single men who leveraged their singleness for kingdom impact.
Whether married or single, growing as a Christian man fundamentally involves the same habits: engaging Scripture, developing your prayer life, building community, serving others, and stewarding your whole self for God's glory.
At Share The Struggle, our coaches work with men in all life stages. Our weekly group sessions ($40/month) or one-on-one coaching ($180-$360/month) can provide personalized guidance for your specific situation and challenges.
Conclusion
The journey of how to grow as a Christian man doesn't end after 30 days or even 30 years—it's a lifelong pursuit of becoming more like Christ. This journey isn't about perfection but progress, not about achievement but change.
Throughout this guide, we've explored five essential habits that form the foundation of spiritual growth:
Engaging with God's Word daily
Developing a consistent prayer life
Joining a brotherhood of believers
Serving others with sacrificial love
Stewarding your physical and emotional health
These practices aren't meant to be burdensome requirements but life-giving rhythms that position you to receive God's grace. As Richard Sibbes wisely reminds us, "True Christian growth mirrors initial conversion: it happens by beholding Christ and experiencing his free grace repeatedly, not by willpower."
When you feel discouraged by slow progress or setbacks, remember Philippians 1:6: "I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." God is more committed to your growth than you are, and His grace is sufficient for every struggle you face.
The captive thoughts coaching model we teach at Share The Struggle has helped countless men identify and replace unhealthy thought patterns with God's truth. This approach recognizes that our thoughts drive our emotions and behaviors, and that bringing them under Christ's authority is essential for spiritual growth.
Many men find that having a guide on this journey accelerates their growth. Just as Timothy had Paul and Joshua had Moses, having someone walk alongside you provides perspective, accountability, and encouragement when the path gets difficult. Our coaching programs offer this kind of support, whether through affordable weekly group sessions ($40/month) or more personalized one-on-one coaching ($180-$360/month).
Your spiritual growth matters beyond your personal relationship with God. As you become more like Christ, you impact your family, your church, your workplace, and your community. Your growth creates ripples that extend far beyond what you can see.
The goal isn't to become a "perfect Christian man" by some cultural or religious standard, but to grow in your reflection of Jesus—His love, His wisdom, His courage, His servanthood. This happens not through striving but through surrender, not through performance but through presence with Him.
May you experience the deep joy and freedom that comes from growing as a man of God. And may others increasingly see Christ in you as you continue this journey of faith.
Ready to take your spiritual growth to the next level with personalized guidance? Learn more about our coaching services and take that next step today.
