Why Church Anxiety Counters a Sense of Belonging

Anxiety about going to church is a reality many believers face. Whether it's the fear of judgment, uncomfortable social interactions, or unfamiliar settings, church gatherings can often trigger intense anxiety. Here's a quick overview to help you understand the issue:

Common triggers: Crowds, stand-and-greet times, fear of being judged, and unfamiliar environments.
Symptoms: Racing heart, shaking, excessive sweating, and a sense of being trapped.
Faith-based approach: Understanding that anxiety is not necessarily a sin, but can reflect our broken world.

Church should be a place of peace and comfort. However, it can sometimes feel like an obligation rather than an opportunity, especially if social anxiety is a concern. For many, the struggle to attend isn't about a lack of faith but stems from a deeper mental health issue that needs understanding and compassion.

The starting point for dealing with anxiety about going to church is awareness and sensitivity within the church community. Knowing this, churches can be better equipped to create environments where everyone feels welcome and less anxious. By recognizing these fears, we can begin to foster spaces where anxiety doesn't overshadow spiritual growth.

I'm Richard Mattingley, with a background in mental health and faith-based community support. Having worked extensively in the field of anxiety and personal development, I know the challenges and triumphs that can come with addressing anxiety about going to church. Let's explore how we can create welcoming congregations together.

Understanding Church Anxiety

Common Triggers

For many, anxiety about going to church stems from a mix of social anxiety disorder and specific triggers within the church environment. Here are some common triggers:

Crowds: Being in large gatherings can be overwhelming, especially for those with social anxiety. The sheer number of people can make it hard to find a comfortable space, leading to feelings of unease.

Unfamiliar Social Situations: Walking into a new church or even attending a familiar one can be daunting. The unpredictability of who you might meet or what might happen can heighten anxiety.

Stand-and-Greet Times: Many churches have a moment where everyone is encouraged to stand, greet, and shake hands. For those with social anxiety, this can be incredibly stressful. According to Thom Rainer’s Becoming a Welcoming Church, 9 out of 10 guests dislike these times, which can feel awkward and unnatural.

Sharing of the Peace: Similar to the stand-and-greet, this practice involves hugging or shaking hands. It can last from a few minutes to longer, making it a significant source of anxiety for some.

Psychological and Physical Symptoms

Understanding the symptoms of church anxiety can help in managing it better. Here are some common ones:

Racing Heart: The anticipation of social interactions can cause your heart to race. This is a typical response when you're anxious about being judged or interacting with others.

Shaking Hands: Physical symptoms like shaking hands can occur, especially during activities that involve greeting others or participating in communal rituals.

Fear of Being Trapped: Sitting in a pew and worrying about being unable to leave easily can be a real fear. This often leads people to choose seats near exits.

Fear of Judgment: Many people with social anxiety fear being judged by others. This can make every interaction, from singing to taking communion, feel like an ordeal.

These symptoms are often linked to an overactive amygdala, the part of the brain that processes fear. They can also be a result of learned behavior from past negative experiences.

Recognizing these symptoms and their triggers is the first step in managing church anxiety. Knowing you’re not alone and that others share these challenges can be comforting. If you’re struggling, talking to a coach can provide personalized strategies to help you cope.

Next, we'll explore practical coping strategies and how churches can better support their anxious members.

Coping Strategies for Church Anxiety

Practical Tips for Individuals

Prayer

Prayer can be a powerful tool to calm your mind and focus your thoughts. Before attending church, spend a few moments in prayer, asking for peace and courage. Remember Psalm 94:17-19: "When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul."

Structured Services

Choose a church with a predictable service structure. Knowing what to expect can reduce anxiety. Avoid churches with long stand-and-greet times, which can be particularly stressful.

Personal Invitations

Going with a friend can make a big difference. If you’re anxious about going alone, ask a trusted friend to accompany you. This can provide emotional support and make the experience less daunting.

Online Viewing

If attending in person feels overwhelming, start by watching services online. This allows you to participate without the immediate social pressure. Some churches even have online hosts to make the experience interactive.

Sit in Familiar Spots

Find a consistent place to sit each week, preferably near an exit. This can give you a sense of control and make you feel more comfortable.

Avoid Alcohol

While it might be tempting to use alcohol to calm your nerves, it can actually increase anxiety. Stick to other calming techniques like deep breathing exercises.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts can spiral out of control. Challenge them by reminding yourself of positive past experiences or focusing on the supportive aspects of the church community.

Plan Ahead

Planning your visit can alleviate anxiety. Know the service times, the layout of the church, and where you’ll sit. Arriving a bit early can also help you settle in before the crowd arrives.

Church's Role in Supporting Anxious Members

Avoid Labeling Anxiety as Sin

It's crucial for church leaders to understand that anxiety is not a sin. Avoid making anxious members feel guilty for their struggles. Instead, offer compassion and understanding.

Provide Clear Instructions

Clear instructions during the service can help anxious members feel at ease. For example, explain where to find scripture references or when to stand and sit. This reduces uncertainty and stress.

Offer Exit Hospitality

Some people may need to leave the service early. Make it clear that this is okay and provide easy exit routes. A welcoming environment includes respecting individual needs.

Create Welcoming Environments

Churches can be more inclusive by creating welcoming environments. This includes avoiding forced interactions like stand-and-greet times and ensuring everyone feels valued, regardless of their mental health status.

By implementing these strategies, both individuals and churches can create a more comfortable and supportive environment for those dealing with anxiety about going to church. If you need personalized advice, consider talking to a coach who can help you steer these challenges.

Next, we will discuss how churches can further support their members in creating a more inclusive and understanding community.

Conclusion

At Share The Struggle, we believe in the power of community and faith to support mental health. We understand that anxiety about going to church is a real and challenging issue for many people. That's why we're committed to raising mental health awareness within faith communities and providing faith-based support custom to individual needs.

Mental Health Awareness

It's crucial to recognize that mental health struggles, including church anxiety, are common and nothing to be ashamed of. By fostering an environment of understanding and compassion, churches can help reduce the stigma associated with mental illness. This encourages individuals to seek the help they need without fear of judgment.

Faith-Based Support

Faith can be a powerful tool in managing anxiety. Scriptures like Psalm 94:17-19 remind us of God's unwavering support:

"When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul."

Incorporating faith-based strategies, such as prayer and scripture reading, can provide comfort and strength. Churches can also offer structured services and clear instructions to make the experience less overwhelming for those with anxiety.

Ongoing Encouragement

Creating a supportive church environment requires ongoing effort. Churches should continually seek feedback from their members and make adjustments to meet their needs. Simple acts, such as providing welcome bags with information or offering online viewing options, can make a big difference.

Get Connected

If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety about going to church, consider reaching out for personalized support. At Share The Struggle, we offer coaching services designed to help you steer these challenges. Our coaches can provide practical tips and spiritual guidance to help you feel more comfortable and included in your church community.

For more information and to get connected with a coach, visit our church support page.

By working together, we can create a more inclusive and understanding community where everyone feels valued and supported. Let's continue to encourage each other and share the struggle.

Why Going to Church Gives You Anxiety and How to Cope